Enlightenment process

The White Worldbridger Wavespell started yesterday ~ bridging our material existence and our spiritual one is one way of looking at this wavespell that follows on from the bringing heaven to earth awakening wavespell we have just completed.

This white wavespell is in the Castle of White too so it is a powerful refinement time. The Castle of the North and Mars energy is a time of truth, clarity and this wavespell is all about surrender to our mortality and awareness of our physicality. This is the paradox of the spiritual journey ~ that we are infinite energy temporarily installed in a finite being with certain limitations and a way of operating that many beings are ignorant of ~ in the dark. More about the planetary shifts here with Blue Moon Astrology’s great blog and if you haven’t subscribed yet I highly recommend doing so to keep you in the loop of how the heavens affect our earthly acts.

Today as number 2 day we are in the place of challenge ~ blue lunar hand. What seeks release so we can bridge worlds. Another way of looking at this is an opportunity to bring the past into awareness so we can bring the unconscious into consciousness and release anything that is holding us back from living the life we want to live now.

Yesterday I made a video about working with our emotional mind in a practical down to earth way as part of our emotional evolution. This is our enlightenment process tool 🙂 If you feel ready to work powerfully with awareness then Emotional Freedom Technique will really aid your awakening and raise your vibe by using it in this framework. It is at the end of the blog. Video 2 is coming soon.

Here is a little story about my journey to assist in explaining how our patterns develop ~ in alignment with our universal barcode that we enter the planet with ~ the time of our birth is plotted to co ordinate our earth landing and each star and it’s position to the earth and each other ~creates our energetic code. Thank you Liz for inspiring this exercise today ~ you could try it too dear reader if you feel the urge ~ it is very revealing of our formative patterns and how we are where we are today 🙂 If you don’t know your Mayan sign and natal chart ~ what I call your Starcode ~ please message me your time, date and place of birth and I will send that info to you. This is a major step on the conscious awareness Blue Peter light up scale :-). If we want to release and remember who that divine child really is then this is a great tool for that ~ seeing our code.

Another is removing all the emotional wounding hurdles that are holding us stuck in the past on a fear scale when we can be there full of beans as the child inside.

Identifying our emotional triggers and behaviours is the way to see what seeks release because this creates tension within us and gives us the clues to be our own great detective of discovery.

I was born into a middle class background and an only child. My first house was brand new ~ a bungalow. My first friends lived close by and I had strong relationships primarily with two boys and one girl to begin with. Both relationships with boys changed over time and one became distant as he moved ~ friends on Facebook 🙂 ~ one I lost touch with completely and I have just found on Facebook as a result of writing this blog ~ magic 🙂 I felt inspired to look for him and he came up right away.

Another friend was on and off over several years as she moved abroad and came back. She had a very religious upbringing and Catholic schooling ~ mine was a methodist school but wasn’t overtly religious however some of the teachers were and I did go to the Sunday school for a while ~ my own choice. My childhood was very free and abundant as I lived on the edge of open countryside and spent most of the day outdoors in fields and came home for mealtimes.

When I went to school I hated it. Most of my teachers were mean spirited and often really cruel and didn’t have any children of their own ~ there were few teachers who were loving and gentle and inspiring. I still remember the smell of the soap and drinking warm milk ~ which I hated. This is still a trigger ~ we were being sold a lie here that milk was good for us ~ young children are really on the ball with bullpoo manipulations from adults which is why truth tellers are often excluded and labelled trouble makers. This is still very evident in schools in the UK today.

One of my favourite teachers ~ the head ~ died not long after I went there.  I was bullied at school and this continued with the same group of people throughout my education. I lived in a small village and had to walk to school and back ~ which was quite a walk for little legs especially went it was dark and cold in the morning. Everywhere we went we had long walks it seemed. We didn’t have a car for a long time.

Most of my life there was idyllic. My maternal grandparents were living just down the road and my mum was at home as she chose not to work until I went to school and then took jobs to work around being at home with me. When I had child care it was with my Nan ~ a very strong personality. I have mixed memories about that time and it was a key formation of my patterns and rebellious nature 🙂 I remember watching her washing and ironing and cooking food . She had very formed opinions about people and ways of doing things and although we lived in a new urban village we spent most of our weekends in her old place of living ~ Oldham. We often visited Ashton market too which is were some of our family hailed from. Shaw was a regular Saturday morning stop off with certain shops and food favoured. My nan loved routine ~ probably because she hadn’t had much as a child. Her mum died and she was then a mother to her three siblings with a wicked Stepmother story just like Cinderella. Her father was a public figure and had one image for that public with the reality at home being far from that projection of  morality and godliness ~ he was one of the longest serving policemen in Oldham. He was very unkind to my Nan and this created a lot of patterns for her that created ripples in our family tree. She went to work in service at an asylum to escape which gives you some idea of what life must have been like at home 🙂

Many of my childhood ways of being could be seen from the outside as very positive. The truth I experienced from other people’s behaviour was , in reality, very different. On revealing I was an only child often resulted in a negative response that I was spoiled and this set immediately how I was put in a box and labelled. I had lots of clothes,toys and went on lots of holidays ~ some abroad ~ my contemporaries often didn’t have those things and had siblings ~ something I always wanted . The grass is always greener 🙂 I experienced a lot of jealousy as a young person.

I was very thin as a child and didn’t experience puberty until I was late 14 /15 and I was bullied severely for this at high school ~ I was taunted and called Cambodian. I was 5 feet and 10 inches tall probably from around 12 years old and none of my friends were anywhere near that height. I abhored games and sport and did not like being watched doing any of those activities ~ the opposite of my family who loved sport and constantly took part in competitive activities. I developed hay fever at junior school which allowed me to avoid sports day ~ personal hell 🙂

When I read people’s posts about young women and in particular models being unnaturally thin, I find it comes again from a place of becoming the behaviour we abhor.  Swinging the polarity around making judgements about weight.

Not all models or people who are thin have eating disorders and starve themselves and each person is unique. I ate like a horse and didn’t put on weight and that only changed when I started having relationships with men and when I got pregnant. I took supplements to try and get fatter and cried because side 6 jeans were way too big, My children have the same body build and often receive the same discrimination.

I found reading and writing compelling and devoured books from an early age. I loved creating things, drawing, painting and being in nature. I loved pottering around the garden with my Grandad.

I loved learning and so was labelled a swot at school and felt I didn’t belong in any camp or group. My friends never stuck up for me and I stuck up for the underdog despite being bullied more ~ my mouth had a mind of it’s own and I carried on saying things even though I knew it meant pain….. I fought with my mouth and intellect and never had a fight . Strangers always came to my rescue in severe situations where I could have had a severe beating ~  later in life ,when I became a pub landlady this continued and despite running some dodgy pubs in London in the 9o’s ~ my customers always sorted out any threat if I was on my own…….and I learned to trust that I had many earthly guardian angels as well as heavenly ones 🙂

I had few big traumas so on the outside looking in , many would say I had a cushy life.

One of my first big traumas was injury to my face at around 8. I also moved house to an old building in the centre of the village and I hated it. It was really old and dark ~ a gift shop. (Later we moved back to a bungalow and I can see how I have repeated this pattern around being in the same houses and businesses). It meant I moved away from the first part of my childhood and my friends.

I have done a lot of tapping on this because I had huge frustration and resentment about this move. Logically I can see it had great potential and my parents had good intentions ~ my mum was always on the premises when I came home from school . It was in part an amazing adventure too as it was a house lost in time as the man who owned it ~ Mr Haigh ~ had left so many treasures behind. He was a people pleaser who always said yes to the sales reps. We had years of lavender and lemon Bromley soaps, antique ornamental displays and things left behind for repair ~ jewellery  and watches ~ that had never been collected. It truly was a trove of discovery every day. Another benefit was the world of cash and carry where I could buy bulk supplies of Enid Blyton books ………now there’s a pattern revealed of my bookworm capacity.

I started writing plays about witches and acting them out at school ~ I also started my awakening to the paranormal with night time visits from my deceased favourite aunt much to the consternation of my parents. My paternal grandmother was a renowned medium but she had died when my dad was a boy so although my family was very familiar with this aspect of life ~ this up close and personal reconnection with it was unnerving for them.

The house was sagging ~ literally ~ under years of neglect and so my parents and wider family set about the huge task of restoring it. As was the fashion of the 70’s the original features were ripped out ~ yikes ~ and 70’s icons installed such as bigger windows and turquoise bathroom with lots of brown and orange. The old fireplaces were yanked out and bricked up and storage heaters installed. Rooms were divided and we had a flat created upstairs. ( Throughout my adult life I have done property transformation and developing). The garden was steeply terraced and full of Victorian looming dark plants. Towering shadowy rhododendrons and lots of mildew and scary places for a young child.

I remember navigating the fence and clambering into the Bank’s garden next door which was always a veritable forest of  weeds. The children from the council estate at the back were always climbing our wall ~ which was very high ~ to steal apples supposedly but I guess, just like me ,they were simply going beyond what was known in the process of discovery. The apples were small and bitter having little light to ripen and not too much of a prize ~  maybe scaling the wall was the challenge to be overcome and admitted into a private place.

I had friends on the estate but I wasn’t allowed to play there no matter how much I pleaded, I can understand again the persepective of my parents as a parent now ~ back then it made no sense to little me  ~ it was pretty rough at the back ~ it was called “The Wreck” . When I last went there this land had a large “sculpture” installed at great cost from public funds no doubt ~there never seemed to be anywhere for children to create as their own space both then and now. The parks we went to always had a fear factor ~ fear of bullies and perverts who frequented them and the looming death reminders ~ the memorials of people who had sacrificed themselves seemingly in a war , so we could live , that we really didn’t understand. Being out in the open where it was undefined was safer.

The two polar opposites ~ a place of joy and playing and beauty with flowers and trees ~ and this masculine imposition of  a reminder of death and shadow ~ and the tarmac that hurt us when we fell off the swings…..what a place of confusing contrast.

As we grew older we visited the parks to get high and try and understand this strange place we were living in. Youth clubs were still run by adults that defined how we behaved.

My experience at living over the shop taught me that material objects do not a place of sanctuary  make . During this time in history the country was experiencing huge transition and change and my parents were very affected by it and so this affected me.

As I went through my changes of development I created patterns and beliefs formed around these experiences and now I can see how I have been repeating them ever since both with the people and the places.

The more I have focused on raising my awareness and going into more depth, the more I see my pattern revealed and how the challenges I faced ~ the events that created feelings for me that weren’t love and joy ~ the more I see how I have been revisiting these from different angles so I can learn about them and repattern  my life now.

In the bullying pattern for example I learn about relationships and masculine and feminine energy. In our enlightenment process we attract that pattern that has challenged us.

We attract in people who bully us until we choose to interact with what created that pattern, learn from it, address how we choose to react to it and change our energy.

When people talk about the law of attraction and using visualisation ~ always being positive for example ~ they often have very limited personal experience of it energetically and consciously.

It is important to allow ourselves to focus on positive outcomes and dreams, however if that doesn’t fit our pattern ~ our life long story ~ and what we believe to be true about the world,  it cannot happen because we live in an experiential belief based energy universe ~ we live our beliefs. We are a projector of our inner world.

It simply isn’t an energetic fit for us  ……..yet……….it is where we want to be………and we can create it if we let go of beliefs that contract with that place:-)

The process of enlightenment is changing our law of attraction so that we release any shadow experiences such as being bullied ~ and I guess it would be true to say that everyone on the planet has an experience of that.

The process of becoming a mature well rounded individual means we have to constantly learn and evolve through meeting our challenges and fears head on because only in doing so do we realise that is all that they are ~ a fear and a next step in our expansion.

Our emotional mind becomes more fearful the more we avoid meeting our challenges. The challenges then grow in size until we cannot avoid them as this is the journey we are here to do.

In spiritual teachings we are shown that once we meet a challenge and go through it we have amazing resources at our fingertips and this is often misunderstood.

This energetic power comes from facing our fear and transforming it from within ~ facing our emotional triggers as an individual and not getting someone else to do that for us. This is what the secret code is in all our mythical stories and texts.

Many people look for unconscious, beam me up scottie, ascension, transcendental approaches where as individuals they don’t get their hands dirty ……i.e feel their pain and face their shadow experiences from the past.

sounds familiar?

If you have something happening in your body such as IBS then there is a past and present reason for that otherwise it wouldn’t be happening.

Make sense?

If you have an addiction there is a past and present reason for that. If someone takes that away for you then what happens?

You don’t get the learning and awareness as to why it was created and your body will create it again if you are still living in a way that matches the time it was first created ……. and it is very unlikely that you aren’t living differently in any major way…….so just like taking medication to stop pain……the root cause is not being addressed and so the root cause has to get bigger until it is heard.

Anything that is removed by a linear process without awareness of the bigger picture is acting in isolation and is driven by the ego mind and so will produce that same pattern. It will simply mutate to something else because the need that created it is still there.

Listen to a meditation, read a book and go on a workshop and Ommmmmm a lot…….will create a temporary state of shift. Often this pattern is simply more of the co ~dependent shifting mood pattern and isn’t true transformation just more of the same with a different t shirt on.

This strategy doesn’t work with your pattern and it doesn’t enable you as an individual to get in touch with what is pushing your buttons or empower you to crete a shift yourself. One of my friend’s partner who was a” trained transformational worker ” didn’t want his wife to change…..except in a way he chose……nice 😦

Didn’t see him doing much change work on himself either and this duality takes my breath away still ~ lack of integrity on walking the talk.

Sure enough the universe will bring it round for you to look at no matter how much you stick your head in a rose petal bucket

because……

the universe is you 🙂

So if you are ready to take a good look at yourself and reveal even more of that confident super soul that you are……

It is all there ready and waiting to be transformed.

Each segment of our life stages has all the ingredients to supercharge the next stages through transformation

No one else can do that for us as we aren’t here to live through another we are here to be the authentic expression of us

Our soul in our body

Having a transformitive trail blazing time

Being the hero and heroine in our own adventure

If we don’t do this transformation process then we cannot access other levels of consciousness and it is as simple as that

Be Do Have