Heart empowerment

yellow humanDay nine of the White Worldbridger Day and today is the ninth day ~ White Solar Wizard. This is always a round up day as a nine and if you are a number nine in the Mayan calendar then this is key for you as a time for having completed a cycle ~ maybe the sum total of many lives . This time around you are really here to get your soul show shining brightly and chances are you have had lots of learning early in your life around feeling separation and a stranger in your own land, your own family. A cuckoo in the nest, an alien in your tribe ~ on a different planet to the rest of your peer group 🙂

There is a very good reason for that 🙂

Number nine’s can be completion of pattern clearers when they clear their own energy and belief systems that they have learned in the first couple of segments of life ~ childhood and early adulthood. Often this manifests in midlife as a course correction ~ if we have veered far away from our star seeded course and gone down the ego path.

Over the Scorpio full moon and lunar eclipse we have been revisiting old goo and patterns that are seeking release so we can be reborn. Take heart if you have been having a tough time of experience and illness as this is what Scorpio energy brings. Depending on where you are on your soul journey and time of life this can be very potent. Taurus and Scorpio axis on Thursday reveals big value issues that go deeper than material worth and material structures and patterns. Time to let go and move into new circles once more.

There is another major eclipse coming up on May 9th solar eclipse with sun and moon in Taurus and this links into the World Bridger energy ~ it is a galactic day ~ integration and all about death of old ways of being ~ duality ~ two worlds . Starting on May the 2nd we have Blue Storm Wavespell which is the energy of this year ~ releasing our addictions and being authentic.

Glastonbury brings a super charge evolution and expansion process and will expand exactly where you are in all ways. How you work with that energy depends on several things and a key area is the shadow. I am hosting a retreat in August in the Gemini part of the zodiac that you may be interested in ~ more info coming soon ~ if you feel it may be of interest please message me 🙂

It can be an unsettling place for any initiate as the wonder of Glastonbury as the heart chakra is ~ feel the love. The shadow aspect ~ feel where the blocks to love and self acceptance and then a crossroads 🙂 It is a challenge to be disciplined in this place of illusion and choose the heart path.

  • Choose to feel the blocks and let your soul take you through ego transformation and looking within at the ego defence mechanisms you have learned as a child…….?
  • Live in denial in never never land and use addictive behaviours that shape shift to keep that shadow covered ~ like Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak ?
  • Become the shadow behaviour and manipulate all the signs that your soul is bringing to show you where enlightenment can happen using smoke and mirrors ~ avoidance?

Seeing what is driving that bus of behaviour can give some clarity 🙂

I have had an enlightening few days with lots of physical stuff going on ~ feeling sick and huge headaches on the actual day of Scorpio full moon which was when I was doing my EFT Circle. Feeling the pull to create new choices and alignments in lots of my world spaces. My card yesterday ~ Reach for the stars and let go of the low vibes 🙂

Yesterday I felt a lot better ~ there was a sting in the tail just as I was least expecting it with a big trigger around behaviour I have experienced many times in the past and something I feel very strongly about. Time to explore and create new boundaries for myself and how I relate.

It can be difficult to get clear about anything in Glastonbury for any period of time ~ it’s nature is to bring heart healing and free from the mind my offering on it is this ~ the universe brings us what we need not what we want which I have come to really experience on a personal level in the past few years at my mid life turning point and as this is relatively new learning for me ~ and a paradigm shift  ~ so all old rules are off that my mind and ego are used to ~ it can feel frustrating and exhausting as I go through this evolutionary tunnel for myself. I know it leads to more light if I choose to go there though. Getting easier to see the gateway points now.

The more I clear any resistance to that , through being shown earlier life events that link in to this resistance ~ and have formed beliefs and opinions about it and emotion that is on the fear spectrum ~ the more learning I have and the more I have expanded my awareness and consciousness. My intention is to allow myself to open my heart more and more and be open to things and ways that I may not yet know so I can evolve ~ otherwise I stay stuck in what I have become in the past on a human level ~ I live my life led by my head and by my ego and in that framework I am stuck on a revolving roundabout of mutating ego manoeuvres.

One of my challenges of being open and connecting to other people is that in the past people often get the impression on meeting me that I don’t know anything about anything because I don’t do the ego show…..and I don’t want to….. and I am looking at finding new ways to relate here in person 🙂

Part of my harmonising pattern has precluded me from speaking out in the past when something comes up that I feel isn’t loving behaviour and gentle and respectful ~ I have always been scapegoated when I bring up issues that people do not want to deal with and I do not want to impact aggressively or disrespectfully in other people’s life paths as that is a key value for me. Also I often have felt I don’t know enough about whatever it is …….that doesn’t seem to stop other people from speaking and “teaching” and……many people are teaching something that isn’t implicitly expressed and yet that is what is being expressed.That isn’t a behaviour I wish to model consciously with intent.

This has led to lots of inner enquiry and tapping ( EFT) for me . It was very much a theme of our circle on thursday. Some people who have experienced manipulation and unloving behaviour by caretakers are very aware of how that feels and do not want to pass that pain parcel on ~ so the dilemma is ?

How can we speak our truth and be in our masculine energy without creating the same relating pattern with others ?

If we want to move out of this framework and evolve this is key. My feeling is ~ until I have removed my anger from these times in the past when I was on the receiving end ~ I will struggle with this in my behaviour ~…….I am learning to speak up and stand in my power and share my knowingness and at a full moon time this can be very heightened. I have witnessed lots of power tripping workshops in Glastonbury especially ~ masquerading as something else and I do not like the dishonesty.

The Emperor’s New Clothes ~ what to say ? Who is truly aware of what they are doing and being dishonest about it ……and if you speak up ……..how many will pretend that they do not agree ( although behind the net curtains……..) because they need that co dependent structure like a heroin user ? My code of behaviour now is avoiding drama if I can……unless something directly affects me in a way I feel is abusive , I choose not to engage ….otherwise I would spend all my time in this drama …….

I am focusing on what directly affects me and being the heroine in my own life 

I came to Glastonbury as a cosmic nudge ~ it wasn’t on any goal plan I had 🙂 My mind interpreted many things and I followed it’s lead creating workshops based on what I had learned both through knowledge ~ books, courses, workshops and experience ~ my real life practicality . My heart led me to Glastonbury ~ I didn’t know why I came ~ I trusted my gut that I needed to come at a time when I was allowing myself to be drawn to where I had my next life stage. This has gone in a different way to what I expected especially in learning about the Mayan calendar ~ it wasn’t what I thought it was and what it truly is ~ is wow 🙂 I have had to go through lots of illusions in this process ~ in this place anything goes 🙂 It’s a wild ride ~ shakes the core.

Honing that way of being and allowing that to happen was a huge crossroads for me. I believe it happened because I had done a huge amount of energy clearing with my own patterns and wounding and with my clients that I attracted ~ in particular on healing my feminine archetypal relationships and beliefs. Allowing myself to receive again was key ……and refining that by seeing clearly what was repeating when that happened and my own role in the relationship.

In my training and working as a therapist I have been on many events and workshops and worked with therapists as their therapist. One of the key patterns of a therapist or a coach is around self empowerment, people pleasing, fixing,and a need to be needed ~ a need to be in control.

This has been my journey ~ facing my shadow around my passive and aggressive aspects of my personality and behaviour and how I have been working with co~dependency issues. How I learned as a child , ways of behaving to empower myself which were often manipulative ~ people pleasing ~ from caretakers that were not in any way conscious or aware of these patterns ( so I believe ). My journey has been to transcend these patterns and behaviours and let go of relating in this way. I am very mindful of not jumping in with two feet in a situation that I haven’t had time to observe and understand and of letting my mind lead with assumptions……and this is a work in progress. If I have energy to clear on this and it is compelling, I am aware that I can do that, because once triggered into that energy I am coming from that place in some way.

The more we clear this energy the less that happens. We become the divine child again, clear from ego…..

Today’s energy is all about that ~ being empowered from the heart

and letting the magical universe flow through us instead of thinking

the tool has the power 🙂

This wizard energy is manifest in many aspects and I love Sonia Choquette’s book about this  ~ Souls lesson and purpose ~ which asks the reader which level they are at ~ experientially 🙂 Are we a novice ~ well versed in this issue ~ achieving mastery of it over many revisits 🙂 ?

The Mystery schools and magical practices often focus on outside of self rituals and ceremonies.

This is key to understanding ~ discernment. Many people often struggle with the concept of discernment and confuse it with judgement ~ and my offering on this is :

Judgement confusion ~ judgement energy to be cleared ~ issues around self esteem, not feeling good enough, not wanting to look at self, poor me, victim, inner child stuff . Triggers around this always reveal times in the past when this has occurred to the person feeling an emotional response and wanting to deflect that by various avoidance methods.

Using mind techniques to create debate ~ 

The ego wearing the clever coat ~ this is a big NLP pattern. The elite club with a new language and set of masculine energy tools that elevate them to godlike proportion ~ all these new words to confuse people with so I can outdo them 🙂  ~ they won’t be able to win at an argument and my ego can feel superior. 

I have been to NLP events where people speak in NLP’isms and cover their heart, leading on intellect ~head to head ~ no honest , intimate communication to be felt ~ and in real life you often find that people who seek this pattern  have experienced huge powerlessness and been manipulated in earlier life ~ often on a very abusive scale. They attract predators and seek to deal with these predators by outwitting them with their new laser light sword ~ darth vadar style. If only they would look within and feel their true force ~ the source and allow it to shine brightly ~ the magic would truly flow from the heart . Experientially I have seen many people on this trip and watched them “play” with other people with their new tools ~ and I do not like this behaviour.

People who haven’t cleared their wound pattern energetically and have the discipline to create new patterns that move away from co-dependence ……………….

cannot access new energetic circles ~ they simply morph onto a seemingly new plan …..but it’s the same old pattern deep down and they simply sabotage themselves because they aren’t  ready to enlighten within………..

In past history the magical traditions focus on creating masculine patterns and use intellectual process ~ now is the time of the sacred feminine on a large scale and following the heart path from within.

As the picture shows ~ and was the energy yesterday ~ Red Galactic Skywalker , this is about balancing our masculine and feminine within and in the process freeing our inner child.

The journey is a process and experiential. 

You cannot do this outside of yourself ~ any knowledge raises awareness ~ to integrate that knowledge requires experiencing it for yourself.

If you are using knowledge without having experienced it then where is the integrity ?

Our patriarchal pattern of evolution has been having ways of living enforced without our conscious informed consent and this is perfect for our soul evolution.

Now some of us, are understanding that this expanded patriarchal pattern has a way of relating to us that is very out of balance and unhealthy for us.

The planet is at the remit of a minority of ego centric people who control the majority and the majority have to live according to their plan  ~ which is a small percentage of the people have the wealth and live in a world of opulence made from the efforts of the majority of people who live in poverty  ~ this is a result of our collective conscious awareness and belief systems. It is a similar pattern to the Virgin media logo ~ which isn’t equal and isn’t a number eight 🙂 Guess which side it is heavily influenced on ? Perfect for where we are now ~ and moving away from.

The levels of profit have expanded so that in our factory pharma food have maximum cheap ingredients that have been manipulated and distorted and have no nutritional value ~ to match our collective  co dependent beliefs that someone should nurture us and we are unable to nurture ourselves, then if we choose we can blame them and avoid taking responsibility for ourselves……or take responsibility and create ways to nurture ourselves.

Did we have conscious awareness of this? Did we give informed consent? Did we actually collude in this process…….on a soul level we choose all our experiences ?

Consciously in my humanity……no I didn’t choose this and why on earth would I ?…… and I choose to create a world that is different to this …..which is what I choose to create within me and share with others who are of a like mind and seek to balance within and what I believe I came here to do at this time.

I accept that going through places and learning that may not feel good  is part of my learning curve 🙂

In this process of moving away from this ~ what I am going to term ~ unloving behaviour ~ and a hugely popular way of relating in Glastonbury ~ one of the clever ego defence mechanisms is to focus on one aspect and one polarity swing instead of looking at the whole ~ and again this happens because that aspect hasn’t been cleared and in that process ~ integrated.

This is distortion at work ~ and reveals a belief ~ isolating who takes responsibility  and exclusive rather than inclusive ~ a child like belief system that excludes certain parties ~ on a pattern level revealing fragmentation. It isn’t inclusive and it isn’t integrated which reveals what lies beneath.

Here is my view on this ~

If you are hosting a workshop or facilitating a process there is a responsibility inherent in that ~ take full responsibility for being the initiator and be honest about what you are doing ……and allow your participants to make an informed choice…..and if you aren’t capable of doing that……because you don’t have enough learning yet and are a novice…..then maybe consider waiting until you do….take responsibility for your position. Do an ecology check 🙂 If someone is teaching you about NLP do they teach about using this with respect and awareness…..or how they mesmerise and control people? How powerful you can become ~ like a speed junkie 18 year old in a Suburu 😉 How do they advertise ~ what are their manipulation techniques for getting you on their course ? See clearly and what is really attracting you to it 🙂 Is it Alpha driven? Is it a short cut to an ego identity that is surface pond skimming and has no deep foundation ? Is it coming from a bigger picture view or a skewed angle perspective?

Yes each adult can take responsibility…..and they don’t know what they don’t know………what are you choosing to co create and what is sponsoring that creation? Heart or ego led? What is the intention ?

As always this is a big learning for me too.

If you have just started learning something new , that is a powerful transformational tool ,  maybe be a guinea pig for it yourself  for a good while and use it over a period of time so see how it affects you ~ before you use it on someone else especially people who are vulnerable and seeking to open their heart, in particular children.

What is your therapeutic/relationship/psychological understanding and experience  ~ what foundation is this being built on?

To work with an adult is one thing ~  generally they have learned a lot about relating in some way and again if they are in a place of extreme vulnerability  ~ be very careful about proceeding with anything and explain in depth about where you are coming from, what you offer and how you believe it will work. Instead of making assumptions ~ ask questions and be clear and honest about what your intention is and what theirs is …..as much as you can

Maybe instead of using an avoidance of ……well it is their responsibility, they didn’t ask, I am not their caretaker bla bla bla Deferring any responsibility

and I have heard it so often in Glastonbury

How do we know the questions to ask? 

I grew up believing that people are innately good and choose to relate to me from that place ~ over time I have learned that people aren’t all coming from an honest loving space and so I have learned to be discerning.

I watch my children and see how so often they have trusted and believed whatever is advertised on TV and revisited my own child process …..and seen how the rules of manipulation have changed and experienced them too. At one time a product couldn’t be termed “The Best” and was labelled with the prefix of “possibly” now it seems that anything goes……

Each time we go into a world of consumerism we are open to manipulation ~ each supermarket, TV, the shopping mall, the sales call and all of these worlds specialise in understanding the ego mind and how to manipulate it.

If you choose to perpetuate this system and be part of it’s expansion then choose these patterns ~ all is good in our world of co creation and evolution. 

If you want to make it fit ~ it has to be now ~ it is time …..and it is coming from the ego mind ~ choose patterns and process to override your inner emotions and squash them down so your ego can journey on and you can ignore your body wisdom and your sacred feminine .

Whenever we pattern interrupt a process an aspect of this is blocking the message, the inner child choosing to speak and reveal an enlightenment opportunity.

The more we engage in that process the more we empower our ego and disempower our heart wisdom.

If someone had a huge trauma it may be helpful to let go of that trauma…….and maybe….to understand, learn and evolve from it……instead of blocking it out as though it never happened……because……

I believe it happened for a reason……everything does.

Our shadow always shows for a reason at the perfect time and if we choose to ignore it then a bigger nudge will come later in time.

Being in balance is the key  ~ focusing on being in a joyful space and patterns that support that ~ on the happy horse ~ and when we are not ~ what is causing that.

If our ego believes it can override the universal cycle ~ wow ~ we have a big ego shadow ~ the narcissist pattern ~ some deep  wound that is very powerful. We can override our innate knowingness…… and many people do ~ the majority of people on the planet at this time . This is free will.

This has a huge price to pay ~ I prefer a model of being our authentic selves and creating a way of living that truly feels good without any need for addictions, material props and ego structures.

Whilst we are dependent on these our house of cards will be prone to collapsing at every breath of wind or heavy footed giant shaking our treasure tree.

On a practical level how can I empower myself from the heart ?

The masculine , linear mind is very important in our process and being empowered to use it in balance is the key ~

Until we energetically clear our first part of life on earth we aren’t ready to take the next step of our space journey ~ in the EFT Circle I used a space metaphor of a rocket split into three.

We start at Earth and we move from Mars to Venus  – masculine to feminine – and let go of any heavy vibes by using internal alchemy of changing our shadow to light and in the process creating super powered rocket fuel which will propel us onwards 🙂

Creating goals empowers us to create our dream and get practical ~ make a plan ~ then……

let go of how that is going to happen because you are choosing to go on any journey and the universe will bring you that process ~ be open to it

and take action ~ being aware of yourself and your patterns is key.

The tools I have for becoming aware ~ if you are ready to look at your patterns are:

Mayan Sign and Starcode ~ this reveals your soul mission and energetic code

If something is coming up for you that is blocking your well-being I offer energy coaching and have lots of resources you can use for this to be aware of the universal time  that is influencing this , my intention is to empower you to do this yourself using Emotional Freedom Technique~

The Mayan Wavespell calendar ~ this is my version with links to lots of other creative sources

You can work with this each day to become aware of what is happening in the universal forces to create change

What has happened to me in the past at this time?

This is a document to raise personal awareness of that My Karma Wheel ~ pages and pdf and ……maybe create your own.

Being aware of Karma patterns with Kalma Karma and Co Dependency

When you have the intention to become aware ~ all will be revealed, at the perfect moment, for you to work with and empower yourself…….

If you are ready to be the phoenix rising from the ashes

If you are ready to evolve and let go of old ego ways of being and be truly a magical process.

A wasp appeared at The Heart Centre this week ~ paying attention to what is happening in our day to day world is key and is a divine message from our universal self ~ if we are ready to see 🙂

A message I got yesterday ~ Igor ~ not watched this……love the connection ~ I can see clearly now which is what this Blue Storm Energy Year is all about 🙂

 

Here’s a video about Triggers with a video soon about the next step ~ when the shadow is revealed with emotion

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Enlightenment process

uwsp3 (12)The White Worldbridger Wavespell started yesterday ~ bridging our material existence and our spiritual one is one way of looking at this wavespell that follows on from the bringing heaven to earth awakening wavespell we have just completed.

This white wavespell is in the Castle of White too so it is a powerful refinement time. The Castle of the North and Mars energy is a time of truth, clarity and this wavespell is all about surrender to our mortality and awareness of our physicality. This is the paradox of the spiritual journey ~ that we are infinite energy temporarily installed in a finite being with certain limitations and a way of operating that many beings are ignorant of ~ in the dark. More about the planetary shifts here with Blue Moon Astrology’s great blog and if you haven’t subscribed yet I highly recommend doing so to keep you in the loop of how the heavens affect our earthly acts.

Today as number 2 day we are in the place of challenge ~ blue lunar hand. What seeks release so we can bridge worlds. Another way of looking at this is an opportunity to bring the past into awareness so we can bring the unconscious into consciousness and release anything that is holding us back from living the life we want to live now.

Yesterday I made a video about working with our emotional mind in a practical down to earth way as part of our emotional evolution. This is our enlightenment process tool 🙂 If you feel ready to work powerfully with awareness then Emotional Freedom Technique will really aid your awakening and raise your vibe by using it in this framework. It is at the end of the blog. Video 2 is coming soon.

Here is a little story about my journey to assist in explaining how our patterns develop ~ in alignment with our universal barcode that we enter the planet with ~ the time of our birth is plotted to co ordinate our earth landing and each star and it’s position to the earth and each other ~creates our energetic code. Thank you Liz for inspiring this exercise today ~ you could try it too dear reader if you feel the urge ~ it is very revealing of our formative patterns and how we are where we are today 🙂 If you don’t know your Mayan sign and natal chart ~ what I call your Starcode ~ please message me your time, date and place of birth and I will send that info to you. This is a major step on the conscious awareness Blue Peter light up scale :-). If we want to release and remember who that divine child really is then this is a great tool for that ~ seeing our code.

Another is removing all the emotional wounding hurdles that are holding us stuck in the past on a fear scale when we can be there full of beans as the child inside.

Identifying our emotional triggers and behaviours is the way to see what seeks release because this creates tension within us and gives us the clues to be our own great detective of discovery.

I was born into a middle class background and an only child. My first house was brand new ~ a bungalow. My first friends lived close by and I had strong relationships primarily with two boys and one girl to begin with. Both relationships with boys changed over time and one became distant as he moved ~ friends on Facebook 🙂 ~ one I lost touch with completely and I have just found on Facebook as a result of writing this blog ~ magic 🙂 I felt inspired to look for him and he came up right away.

Another friend was on and off over several years as she moved abroad and came back. She had a very religious upbringing and Catholic schooling ~ mine was a methodist school but wasn’t overtly religious however some of the teachers were and I did go to the Sunday school for a while ~ my own choice. My childhood was very free and abundant as I lived on the edge of open countryside and spent most of the day outdoors in fields and came home for mealtimes.

When I went to school I hated it. Most of my teachers were mean spirited and often really cruel and didn’t have any children of their own ~ there were few teachers who were loving and gentle and inspiring. I still remember the smell of the soap and drinking warm milk ~ which I hated. This is still a trigger ~ we were being sold a lie here that milk was good for us ~ young children are really on the ball with bullpoo manipulations from adults which is why truth tellers are often excluded and labelled trouble makers. This is still very evident in schools in the UK today.

One of my favourite teachers ~ the head ~ died not long after I went there.  I was bullied at school and this continued with the same group of people throughout my education. I lived in a small village and had to walk to school and back ~ which was quite a walk for little legs especially went it was dark and cold in the morning. Everywhere we went we had long walks it seemed. We didn’t have a car for a long time.

Most of my life there was idyllic. My maternal grandparents were living just down the road and my mum was at home as she chose not to work until I went to school and then took jobs to work around being at home with me. When I had child care it was with my Nan ~ a very strong personality. I have mixed memories about that time and it was a key formation of my patterns and rebellious nature 🙂 I remember watching her washing and ironing and cooking food . She had very formed opinions about people and ways of doing things and although we lived in a new urban village we spent most of our weekends in her old place of living ~ Oldham. We often visited Ashton market too which is were some of our family hailed from. Shaw was a regular Saturday morning stop off with certain shops and food favoured. My nan loved routine ~ probably because she hadn’t had much as a child. Her mum died and she was then a mother to her three siblings with a wicked Stepmother story just like Cinderella. Her father was a public figure and had one image for that public with the reality at home being far from that projection of  morality and godliness ~ he was one of the longest serving policemen in Oldham. He was very unkind to my Nan and this created a lot of patterns for her that created ripples in our family tree. She went to work in service at an asylum to escape which gives you some idea of what life must have been like at home 🙂

Many of my childhood ways of being could be seen from the outside as very positive. The truth I experienced from other people’s behaviour was , in reality, very different. On revealing I was an only child often resulted in a negative response that I was spoiled and this set immediately how I was put in a box and labelled. I had lots of clothes,toys and went on lots of holidays ~ some abroad ~ my contemporaries often didn’t have those things and had siblings ~ something I always wanted . The grass is always greener 🙂 I experienced a lot of jealousy as a young person.

I was very thin as a child and didn’t experience puberty until I was late 14 /15 and I was bullied severely for this at high school ~ I was taunted and called Cambodian. I was 5 feet and 10 inches tall probably from around 12 years old and none of my friends were anywhere near that height. I abhored games and sport and did not like being watched doing any of those activities ~ the opposite of my family who loved sport and constantly took part in competitive activities. I developed hay fever at junior school which allowed me to avoid sports day ~ personal hell 🙂

When I read people’s posts about young women and in particular models being unnaturally thin, I find it comes again from a place of becoming the behaviour we abhor.  Swinging the polarity around making judgements about weight.

Not all models or people who are thin have eating disorders and starve themselves and each person is unique. I ate like a horse and didn’t put on weight and that only changed when I started having relationships with men and when I got pregnant. I took supplements to try and get fatter and cried because side 6 jeans were way too big, My children have the same body build and often receive the same discrimination.

I found reading and writing compelling and devoured books from an early age. I loved creating things, drawing, painting and being in nature. I loved pottering around the garden with my Grandad.

I loved learning and so was labelled a swot at school and felt I didn’t belong in any camp or group. My friends never stuck up for me and I stuck up for the underdog despite being bullied more ~ my mouth had a mind of it’s own and I carried on saying things even though I knew it meant pain….. I fought with my mouth and intellect and never had a fight . Strangers always came to my rescue in severe situations where I could have had a severe beating ~  later in life ,when I became a pub landlady this continued and despite running some dodgy pubs in London in the 9o’s ~ my customers always sorted out any threat if I was on my own…….and I learned to trust that I had many earthly guardian angels as well as heavenly ones 🙂

I had few big traumas so on the outside looking in , many would say I had a cushy life.

One of my first big traumas was injury to my face at around 8. I also moved house to an old building in the centre of the village and I hated it. It was really old and dark ~ a gift shop. (Later we moved back to a bungalow and I can see how I have repeated this pattern around being in the same houses and businesses). It meant I moved away from the first part of my childhood and my friends.

I have done a lot of tapping on this because I had huge frustration and resentment about this move. Logically I can see it had great potential and my parents had good intentions ~ my mum was always on the premises when I came home from school . It was in part an amazing adventure too as it was a house lost in time as the man who owned it ~ Mr Haigh ~ had left so many treasures behind. He was a people pleaser who always said yes to the sales reps. We had years of lavender and lemon Bromley soaps, antique ornamental displays and things left behind for repair ~ jewellery  and watches ~ that had never been collected. It truly was a trove of discovery every day. Another benefit was the world of cash and carry where I could buy bulk supplies of Enid Blyton books ………now there’s a pattern revealed of my bookworm capacity.

I started writing plays about witches and acting them out at school ~ I also started my awakening to the paranormal with night time visits from my deceased favourite aunt much to the consternation of my parents. My paternal grandmother was a renowned medium but she had died when my dad was a boy so although my family was very familiar with this aspect of life ~ this up close and personal reconnection with it was unnerving for them.

The house was sagging ~ literally ~ under years of neglect and so my parents and wider family set about the huge task of restoring it. As was the fashion of the 70’s the original features were ripped out ~ yikes ~ and 70’s icons installed such as bigger windows and turquoise bathroom with lots of brown and orange. The old fireplaces were yanked out and bricked up and storage heaters installed. Rooms were divided and we had a flat created upstairs. ( Throughout my adult life I have done property transformation and developing). The garden was steeply terraced and full of Victorian looming dark plants. Towering shadowy rhododendrons and lots of mildew and scary places for a young child.

I remember navigating the fence and clambering into the Bank’s garden next door which was always a veritable forest of  weeds. The children from the council estate at the back were always climbing our wall ~ which was very high ~ to steal apples supposedly but I guess, just like me ,they were simply going beyond what was known in the process of discovery. The apples were small and bitter having little light to ripen and not too much of a prize ~  maybe scaling the wall was the challenge to be overcome and admitted into a private place.

I had friends on the estate but I wasn’t allowed to play there no matter how much I pleaded, I can understand again the persepective of my parents as a parent now ~ back then it made no sense to little me  ~ it was pretty rough at the back ~ it was called “The Wreck” . When I last went there this land had a large “sculpture” installed at great cost from public funds no doubt ~there never seemed to be anywhere for children to create as their own space both then and now. The parks we went to always had a fear factor ~ fear of bullies and perverts who frequented them and the looming death reminders ~ the memorials of people who had sacrificed themselves seemingly in a war , so we could live , that we really didn’t understand. Being out in the open where it was undefined was safer.

The two polar opposites ~ a place of joy and playing and beauty with flowers and trees ~ and this masculine imposition of  a reminder of death and shadow ~ and the tarmac that hurt us when we fell off the swings…..what a place of confusing contrast.

As we grew older we visited the parks to get high and try and understand this strange place we were living in. Youth clubs were still run by adults that defined how we behaved.

My experience at living over the shop taught me that material objects do not a place of sanctuary  make . During this time in history the country was experiencing huge transition and change and my parents were very affected by it and so this affected me.

As I went through my changes of development I created patterns and beliefs formed around these experiences and now I can see how I have been repeating them ever since both with the people and the places.

The more I have focused on raising my awareness and going into more depth, the more I see my pattern revealed and how the challenges I faced ~ the events that created feelings for me that weren’t love and joy ~ the more I see how I have been revisiting these from different angles so I can learn about them and repattern  my life now.

In the bullying pattern for example I learn about relationships and masculine and feminine energy. In our enlightenment process we attract that pattern that has challenged us.

We attract in people who bully us until we choose to interact with what created that pattern, learn from it, address how we choose to react to it and change our energy.

When people talk about the law of attraction and using visualisation ~ always being positive for example ~ they often have very limited personal experience of it energetically and consciously.

It is important to allow ourselves to focus on positive outcomes and dreams, however if that doesn’t fit our pattern ~ our life long story ~ and what we believe to be true about the world,  it cannot happen because we live in an experiential belief based energy universe ~ we live our beliefs. We are a projector of our inner world.

It simply isn’t an energetic fit for us  ……..yet……….it is where we want to be………and we can create it if we let go of beliefs that contract with that place:-)

The process of enlightenment is changing our law of attraction so that we release any shadow experiences such as being bullied ~ and I guess it would be true to say that everyone on the planet has an experience of that.

The process of becoming a mature well rounded individual means we have to constantly learn and evolve through meeting our challenges and fears head on because only in doing so do we realise that is all that they are ~ a fear and a next step in our expansion.

Our emotional mind becomes more fearful the more we avoid meeting our challenges. The challenges then grow in size until we cannot avoid them as this is the journey we are here to do.

In spiritual teachings we are shown that once we meet a challenge and go through it we have amazing resources at our fingertips and this is often misunderstood.

This energetic power comes from facing our fear and transforming it from within ~ facing our emotional triggers as an individual and not getting someone else to do that for us. This is what the secret code is in all our mythical stories and texts.

Many people look for unconscious, beam me up scottie, ascension, transcendental approaches where as individuals they don’t get their hands dirty ……i.e feel their pain and face their shadow experiences from the past.

sounds familiar?

If you have something happening in your body such as IBS then there is a past and present reason for that otherwise it wouldn’t be happening.

Make sense?

If you have an addiction there is a past and present reason for that. If someone takes that away for you then what happens?

You don’t get the learning and awareness as to why it was created and your body will create it again if you are still living in a way that matches the time it was first created ……. and it is very unlikely that you aren’t living differently in any major way…….so just like taking medication to stop pain……the root cause is not being addressed and so the root cause has to get bigger until it is heard.

Anything that is removed by a linear process without awareness of the bigger picture is acting in isolation and is driven by the ego mind and so will produce that same pattern. It will simply mutate to something else because the need that created it is still there.

Listen to a meditation, read a book and go on a workshop and Ommmmmm a lot…….will create a temporary state of shift. Often this pattern is simply more of the co ~dependent shifting mood pattern and isn’t true transformation just more of the same with a different t shirt on.

This strategy doesn’t work with your pattern and it doesn’t enable you as an individual to get in touch with what is pushing your buttons or empower you to crete a shift yourself. One of my friend’s partner who was a” trained transformational worker ” didn’t want his wife to change…..except in a way he chose……nice 😦

Didn’t see him doing much change work on himself either and this duality takes my breath away still ~ lack of integrity on walking the talk.

Sure enough the universe will bring it round for you to look at no matter how much you stick your head in a rose petal bucket

because……

the universe is you 🙂

So if you are ready to take a good look at yourself and reveal even more of that confident super soul that you are……

It is all there ready and waiting to be transformed.

Each segment of our life stages has all the ingredients to supercharge the next stages through transformation

No one else can do that for us as we aren’t here to live through another we are here to be the authentic expression of us

Our soul in our body

Having a transformitive trail blazing time

Being the hero and heroine in our own adventure

If we don’t do this transformation process then we cannot access other levels of consciousness and it is as simple as that

Be Do Have

Red Cosmic Serpent ~ the circle completes

ouroboros

Today is the thirteenth day of the Red Skywalker Wavespell

Red Cosmic Serpent

This is linked to one of two huge wavespells coming up for massive potential gateway shifts this year

Red Serpent Wavespell is on May 28th and has ten portal days

Places of energetic connection to all of time

wonderful healing and shift spaces

Many thanks to Tracey Gendron for creating these wonderful resources.

Her fabulous website is:

Astrodreamadvisor.com

There are lots of links to other websites if you hover your mouse on the blog.

I am in the process of making an interactive wavespell calendar ~ it is my first attempt so pretty basic

If you want one message me 🙂

It’s free

It will enable you to experientially connect to the calendar every day and synchronise with it

I will be doing a workshop soon too so stand by for more info 🙂

This beautiful picture of the Red Ouroboros is the key pattern

Repeating circles

Repeating patterns

Eternity

Death and Rebirth

Yin and Yang

and if you are too driven disappearing up your own behind 🙂

Starting to use the wavespell now in lots of interlinked ways and seeing even more magic

This sign today is all about loving the skin we are in

and a point of choice ~

If we want to be truly empowered we need to know how to maximise our sacred temple that houses our spirit

and allow ourselves to be a

vibrant 

high energy being

by being an expert on our beautiful body

and aligning ourselves with patterns that support that new growth 🙂

Just been to the dentist and continuing on my journey of learning

about my teeth.

I have now had one of my temporary plastic crowns replaced by pure porcelain

and this journey leads me to explore and understand the nature of my body and health systems…..

It is an amazing cookie trail 🙂

In the making of Porcelain there is an alchemical process which involves the use of Mullite and/or Kyanite

Kyanite is a wonderful crystal that is a rich Greek blue ~

that I have always had an affinity for 🙂

I gave my Kyanite away to a friend

You can use it to balance all the chakras

and now I find it had found it’s way inside me

as part of my tooth 🙂

I had no way of knowing that before ~

so how could I have chosen it?

Here lies the magic of the journey……….

My nickel based crowns have come out

I now have octahedron platonic solid shaped atoms in my mouth …..

rather than tetrahedrons

Eights for integrity

and an adaptation of the ouroboros 🙂

amazing how much toxicity our health care systems use ~

madness really isn’t it ?

This is ego land.

None sense.

Now if I had money to pay for expensive dentistry ……which I could do if I decided to do this and go down that route….

It is how I create my dream projects and gives my masculine linear mind a goal to manifest 🙂

I wouldn’t go through these stages…..

I am learning to do this less as I allow my higher self to lead at the perfect time

in synch with the cycles

and build my trust and faith and allowing muscles…..

Which is what is the essence of the new wavespell that starts tomorrow ~

White Worldbridger

This is where having money often stops us from facing challenges and going out of our comfort zone

The paying pattern creates a limited outcome in many respects

as often the intention behind it is to achieve something instantly without being an energetic match for it……

money manipulates the matrix ~ 

for a time ~

but the true state always will out

Which is why we have to go through the valley of death (ego transformation) to reach the garden of the goddess ( balancing the feminine)………

In physical terms we go through the stages of the base chakra, the sacral chakra and the solar plexus

this is the veil in our body

Continually working with these cycles over and over is what opens the gates of heaven within

The Heart Chakra

A great book for this is Spirit of the Anatomy by Caroline Myss

and her amazing videos are here

If you use this material with EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique

It is so powerful

Death of the old ways and transforming our ego by facing challenges that take us beyond our ego limitations

and to stretch and grow into our godliness

We are ready to own our power as creators…..

Can you feel that?

Do you fear that?

No worries if you do ~ we all do ~ it is the nature of our journey

and it’s great that we do as it reveals our humbleness and humility

and shows we are ready to handle our power with respect and love

for good

at the time of the returning sacred feminine

and our wounded masculine.

Many people aren’t truly aware of how their body reveals their energy flow

and those that are

may not be aware of how to work with that

and so hold back on letting go of being dependent on the medical pattern

to let go of living a lesser life

by putting their body in places where  systems and people in those systems

put the body under stress

and so they have to balance it with buffers

addictions 🙂

We are at a time of transition and so this is challenging

I have been in this space for my whole life on some levels

and in a big way since 2000 ~ when I discovered Louise Hay 

You can heal your life

In sharing my experience in these blogs I share “a” way from my

personal point of view

This is a perspective and each person has their own way and responsibility to make their choices….

We all have different causalities

and so we each have different answers to seek

the time of the guru is over 🙂

We are all our own guru 

and each of us has our own path to follow

Their are shared places of truth and well~being space

A great EFT affirmation to tap in is:

Be still and know that I am God

Tap this on your points and see how it feels…..

Wow it is powerful

and can stir up some inner dialogue

touching on any indoctrination (fear) that is still embedded

We are all part of the universal consciousness

and an individual personality

We are here to co create

I am sharing these videos to awaken people to the truth about factory and Pharma models

Let’s awaken ourselves to knowing the truth that the corporate world actually doesn’t care

at all

on any level

about our welfare

only that we are around long enough to consume their products

and with the amount of formaldehyde in them

we will be living mummy’s 🙂

I am not blaming anyone……

It is the exact push we need

to wean ourselves off this unhealthy

co dependent system

of living from lack

and denying our

true wonderful amazing selves

My ego still gets angry at this and I know that means I have stuff to clear on my past and relationships I have had

with “authority “

Ignorant people who have the strength of ego to tell me

who I am

How I should be

How I should live

Teachers

Doctors

Adults

who are vibrating on such a low level

and are so out of touch with the real deal

Acceptance of what is

Without their intervention I wouldn’t have the contrast

and the challenge

to sing a different song 🙂

Lots of manure for my compost mountain

Bullsh*t awaiting transformation

This is all the rocket fuel I need 

for my seeds of love

within

to get my high vibe show on the road

Juicy Living

Please join me and share our brave new world

that takes courage and heart

and new belief systems

Let’s clear off the sludge of our soul mirrors so we can shine brightly

and

plug ourselves in

direct to source

by removing all the obstacles

our ego journey

has placed in the way

I often find myself with conundrums because my ego is having a battle with my heart

I am still a meat eater

and for me this means being a hypocrite

I couldn’t kill an animal ~ maybe to survive if I was starving

but I want to move towards a new way of being that feels true for me

from my own discoveries….

that has integrity

rather than simply because I feel I “should”

also

I am reading material that has amazing learning

but this has come from experiments on animals

and I really don’t like that

and I couldn’t do it myself

and yet I ask the question

How could we have known what we know today without all this suffering?

I am not seeking to justify using animals at all

I am simply saying

aren’t we all in this experimental process of life

and moving towards more loving ways of being as a result of living in dark times?

I don’t know what the answer is for this

I don’t know what the answers are for many things

I ask forgiveness for my ignorance

I am opening up more and more to accepting that everything happens for a reason

even nuclear power…..

otherwise it wouldn’t be in our world…

and that it is the nature of our learning pattern to go beyond where we are now borne from what doesn’t kill us…..

rebirths us.

This book is amazing…..

The Body Electric by Robert O Becker and Gary Selden

The man who wrote it had to challenge the scientific mindset and open up research that wasn’t popular

because the companies that fund research have their agenda

Another really obviously crazy inappropriate unsafe mechanism that we have 🙂

We trust that ego led individuals who are driven by making money …..

are going to be responsible and caring of humanity

and honest about their research…….

The two patterns are diametrically opposed

mutually exclusive

not a match 🙂

Here is where the growth learning is 🙂

So this man went up against the men’s club and opened up old research

about the healing electricity in the body

and proved it scientifically

and even in the face of that proof

in the manner of their own methodology

many of these scientists would not accept the findings

because to accept this

meant giving up opposing beliefs

( Ever had that experience?)

 and ways of living …….

that paid their golf club fees

meant they had to rethink their life plan and values

give up their fringe benefits

and most people are so in their masculine that they aren’t willing to do that

and go beyond

the material world

as a major part of the science pattern comes from fear and the need to pin down, measure and evaluate

tick a box

to deflect and assuage anxiety from earlier episodes in life ~ in childhood.

There is always a story behind each direction in life….

Did you know that if you cut your fingertips off they will regrow?

Warning some images on these links that you may find upsetting

The key for me in reading this book ~ there are so many wows ~

Is the pattern

the metaphors

and I will expand on these in other blogs….

there is so much :-)to share

When you start connecting to this path it is so exciting and limitless

Our universal body regrows through death experiences

You can cut through a heart completely

and it will heal itself

Cancer is a healing strategy for the body to regrow

only for most people they choose medical intervention ~

understandably through fear ~

that doesn’t heed the message the body is trying to communicate

We are all capable of healing ourselves

It is our bodies innate function

many times we stop the cycle and use medication because we fear pain

it feels out of control

We can go within and hear the message

and we have to make a lifestyle change at this point

how we live has created the imbalance

We are beautiful

sensitive

sacred

flowers of light

We aren’t meant to be in controlled

over crowded

office blocks

living on microwaves

starving from lack of nutrients

in grey corridors with synthetic carpets, smells,

plastic fantastic

It is really really simple

Watching these videos

reconnected me to these simple ways of creating change:

Louise Hay affirmation on your mirror

say it every morning to yourself and every evening

Start and end your day

and if you know how to tap I encourage you to use it as a starting point

and let your ego speak out

so you can let go

of that woundology

Here is the statement:

I love and accept myself unconditionally now

Then see what comes………

from the inner critic

that you can set free by tapping on when it was formed in the past

and truly liberate yourself

Start to add in a lifestyle of vibrancy

Add in one something every week that takes you towards well-being

A fruit

A smoothie

Nothing to big or too fast that the ego radar will revolt against

little steps that edge you out of your cave

into the sunshine

in the green meadow

add in positive people

add in tools to support your letting go

add in a new book, new philosophy that stretches your world

expands your imagination

lets your parental control button turn itself down

We are right at the beginning of an amazing journey into knowing ourselves

We are always safe

we are always held

we are always loved

all we have to do is allow it

and enjoy the ride

Imagine how you will feel when you have an even higher  vibe body

when you live in the now more and more

when you feel so excited about life

simply for being alive

In the recent past we learned to be children in adult bodies ~ dependents

because that was the pattern of the times

of what our spiritual essence was experiencing and learning from

now we are evolving and allowing ourselves to own our power

from the heart

reaching a place of spiritual maturity on our planet

and to reach this space

heaven on earth

we all create beliefs and ways of living

that match that

and this takes time ~

baby steps

All the spiritual teachings are here

It is time to put the I

in the teachings

be our own Hanuman

and step into

our true state of being

for us to follow

on the inside

We are enough

May I suggest that you start to write a list of all your amazing qualities and put it where you can acknowledge your wonder every day 🙂

Here is a video I made in my allotment a couple of years ago

There will be new ones coming soon both for the growing side

Seed of sacred living Blog

I have been experiencing many challenges over the years

and am a work in progress like everyone else 🙂

Through this experience I have developed some great methods of working with the energy body

grounded

practical

techniques

that raise awareness

and

create new ways of being by releasing the old.

Please contact me for a free consultation.

I am currently working with EFT Circles on addiction

Which lead to great insight about where we are and what is seeking change

I can connect to you wherever you are in the world

and

in connecting to me in Glastonbury

You are connecting to the Heart Chakra of the planet 🙂

I love working with people on their issues

because

they are always my issues on some level 🙂

naturally

It is truly a wonderful way to evolve.

Co Creation

Lots of love to all you amazing adventurers out there

Loads of resources for you on my website:

Barefoot Holistics

Seeds of love

We are on the twelfth day of the Red Skywalker Wavespell ~ Yellow Crystal Seed Day.

I am sharing a quote shared with me today ~

“Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.”

James Thurber

If we are ready to move forwards and into a space of maturity we look and learn from our past ~ or we can play the blame game.

There is a certain woman who is being honoured or slated today ~ The Iron Lady Margaret Thatcher.

Perfect synchro for Cancer Moon. All our nurturing feminine issues 🙂

How have we changed in the UK since she was the leader of government ?

For something that happened such a long time ago……there is still a huge amount of vitriol being expressed and lighting up our energetic universe.

Have we moved on ? How is life different in our society today ? Not much that I am noticing. People are still having a good moan and rant…..

Haven’t we learned that this doesn’t actually change anything? 

If we are ready for a change then let’s take responsibility for how we all create our way of living everyday and truly learn…..

create something new by changing what we do.

Margaret Thatcher was a strong personality……no matter how strong…..she didn’t achieve what she is being blamed for single handed……

In reality that would be impossible and so we can see ~ if we are being honest ~ that if we hold her responsible for everything “bad” at that…..quite significantly long period of time……

We are using her as a scapegoat to avoid taking responsibility for our role in society at that time.

I am no paragon of virtue…..yet he without sin cast the first stone ~ seems like a good rule of thumb for fairness?

In a hypocritical society.

Of course we could say the same about Adolph Hitler and blame him……for all the atrocities that no one else got their hands dirty with…..really?

Out of interest for my own awareness I have checked out their Mayan signs.

Margaret was a Blue Crystal Night ~ learning about co creation rather than co-dependence as a number 12 . Blue’s create transformation through death…..and if we look back in a couple of hundred years from now we may see how her energy created a shift ~ at the perfect time in our evolution ~ that is those of us who choose to be conscious and see the bigger picture and how we learn from every episode in our evolution.

Adolph Hitler is also a blue and it was a surprise for me to learn that he was a blue galactic hand ~ blue hand generally being regarded as a healing energy sign ~ however as I said before ~ who are we to see the intricate structures being woven in divine time? Being a number eight ~ all about integrity and integration.

I am not seeking to justify or honour anything about these individual’s behaviour ~ simply seeking to share an awareness of what that has created to raise our understanding and consciousness as beings that learn experientially ~ often this involves great pain and suffering.

So few manipulate so many because the masses are unconscious……and that is meant to be otherwise it wouldn’t be so…..there is nothing wrong with our world ….it is simply reflecting where we are.

If we are to move away from that pattern then seeing clearly how it came into being ~ because it matched our majority collective unconscious beliefs , especially around personal responsibility and victim patterns ~  to change our future we change from the inside and then this changes the outside. The majority of our population aren’t yet tuned in to this understanding because ……we aren’t ready to feel our personal pain and get over it ~ to renew our selves now.

It is the soul process.

What do we achieve in reality when we vent our spleen?

We let some steam off ~ for our ego.

What any of us project onto any change bringers ~ is a reflection of our own shadow is all.

Margaret Thatcher is simply an archetypal pattern for each individual to have their own individual pattern match ego dance with.

Does she represent your Mother? Grandmother? A teacher who was mean to you? Someone who pushed your buttons as a child?

At the height of her time she was in a space that took a while in the making …….an ancient pattern……and it is still here :-)It shapes into different forms with a new spin doctor is all.

If we are to create new seeds of loving relationships then we all have to take responsibility for creating these new plants.

New frameworks to support their growth.

This takes people who are willing to own their behaviour and their part in the collective and learn about new paradigms.

Blame allows our shadow ego to avoid focusing on itself ~ it’s a smoke and mirrors routine ~let’s crucify that person and that regime and what we resist persists…..

The inner wounded child hates change .

How many people who were adults during the 80’s are still doing the same thing ~ and moaning about it ~ standing on their soap box ~ doing the same things and wanting everything to change ……

and haven’t changed themselves?

Still doing a job they hate…..

Still in debt…….

Still hanging out with the same group of people they don’t really like?

Living in the same village they grew up in?

Going to the same club/pub/golf course……

It’s a pattern……of denial and living in fear ……of change

I lived in a South Yorkshire community in the 80’s when I returned from living in Greece. I learned a lot from that. There were a lot of similarities to Greece and many mindsets too. There were lots of rigid beliefs around roles women should play for example……I didn’t like most of those 😦

Margaret was in one aspect…. the ball breaker who came head to head with many individuals…. who were at the height of their ego trip…..and with all these individuals we can see how their ego had expanded to a black hole proportion……..this balanced the weighing scales for the number of individuals who totally handed over all their decision making to others…..and then muttered over their beer about it……beat their wives up instead…..beat their friends up……displaced their anger instead of confronting the people fairly and honestly about their situation …..with a view to changing it. I have never met a miner who said they loved their job….and I knew a lot of them. Sadly some drank themselves to death rather than make a change.

Some people hated being miners….they thought they had to do it……some people chose not too and left to seek something else.

At the time of the strikes my parents had a small business and it was affected adversely by the power cuts ~ many people were and they weren’t asked how they felt about that by the striking people or included in a vote about it……… Is that not bullying aggressive behaviour? Is that fair or inclusive ?

How many lived in fear when the lights went out? The huge amounts of rubbish? What did any of the riots achieve……I don’t remember a positive from it .

Our history shows that we become the behaviour we abhor in order to overcome our fear ~ there is another option ~ dealing with our fear and creating new models of relating to each other.

When the pits closed some had redundancy money……some set up a new business…..some drank it…..the pub benefited 🙂

The villages and the people are still there. Some are still victims, some are survivors and some ……a minority…..are thrivers because they saw potential in the change and took it.

Some people behaved badly and people died as a result ~ and just like every tragic story in history some of the people who murdered others were part of their own community who felt justified in doing that because they had a certain set of rules.

All this rage has it’s price and as long as someone feels they are justified at imposing their rules on another…….

Someone suffers…..

and in turn everyone suffers.

This is the root of bullying.

When you look closer at what came before the explosion point you see the pattern ~ it isn’t about the big event where the explosion happens…..the seeds are planted many years before that. If you look at Adolph Hitler’s family pattern you can see how so many infant deaths and family tension between him and his father started an avalanche . People who shared his pattern shared his vision.

We all have this shadow on some level because we are all human beings.

Narcissistic behaviour ~ avoidance of looking at our stuff

This behaviour only ever comes from fear…..

So what I am saying is…..

If we now face our fear ~ because it is simple to do and the tools are there to do it ~ we let go of it.

We let go of making other people responsible for our pain and we take our power back

When we engage with others free of rage there is no opposing force so resistance ends.

We do not have to accept bullying behaviour and we can let go of adding fuel to the fire that builds into rioting and war.

Many people crave drama because their own life is empty of colour and meaning for them ~ hence the huge reliance on soaps. It is possible to let go of that but only if we are ready to go for the hero’s journey and be our own hero rather than waiting for someone to rescue us.

I have just watched Secret State on channel four and for the first time in many years saw “debates” from the houses of parliament.

It reminded me of  how it’s like a school playground for goodness sake ~ these people get paid good money to have childish digs at each other ~ oooo I’m cleverer than you ~ and they are running our country ~ now ~ because …..Some of them fall asleep……and that’s ok….. On TV…… Because you need a big ego to feel you can run a country ~ or pretend that you can as a front for the bank ~ and this is no different for any political party.It’s the next step up from putting business in the direction of friend’s at the golf club ~ which is where most ego creativity happens in truth and has always been so. The little clique’s so evident in our town’s and villages throughout the UK. If you face fits…….

We can see the pretence of difference now in the political parties ~ opposition ~ all the same stuff ~ ego. I love the outcome ~ I also know it ain’t likely to happen anytime soon because…….it isn’t a match for where we are. We are still letting the banks’s do whatever they wish because we aren’t ready to hand over our future based never never pattern and the security of our credit card……so it will take another big push to slide the collective off the cliff…..unless we learn to leap before we are pushed….which takes an evolved being.

Pretty thin on the ground……a rare species 🙂 More are being birthed through adversity by busting out of the cocoon and seeing the matrix at last.

Here’s a wonderful film all about that ~ heading into the dark space :

Peace brings peace and peace begins with me.

No person or time is all bad. There were many wonderful things in the eighties. From our adversity we find strength to create new ways of being.

These change makers in our midst show us where we can bring light and although we may resist letting go of what we know…..

we can find that if we open our hearts and be vulnerable instead……the change always brings us new possibilities.

There were dark times in the eighties ….

and there were wonderful times too……let’s let the wounds go….

truly, deeply, emotionally and energetically because if we don’t…….

Nothing will change. It isn’t someone else’s job to parent us or our world…..it is ours.

What are you doing to create a difference?

Seeing the bigger picture

ColloidalSilverSingapore1We are now in a refining phase in the Mayan Wavespell calendar. In the first four wavespells since February the thirteenth 2013 ~ where we started a new 260 day cycle ~ we were in the Red Castle of the East ~ the dawn and awakening, connecting to the earth and grounding ourselves to forge a new path.

Now for the next four, we are in the White Castle of the North where the energy is clear seeing of the truth and refining our energy to clear our energy body. If we choose we can do this holistically and see the bigger picture ~ Mind, Body and Spirit and experience limitless transformation 🙂 This fifth wavespell of the 260 day bigger cycle is Red Skywalker. This energy is all about bringing heaven to earth. As a number five it is the fifth element which is in light ~ mastery and in shadow ~ struggle. Throughout our lifetime we do the rounds with these spaces over and over with different aspects of ourselves.

Each wavespell has thirteen days and if we choose we can work with the energy to bring us more awareness of where we are on our path. It is simple to tune in each day and connect to the energy with whatever time we have available. Each time we do this we create an energetic change within us.

Today we are on day three of this uniting heaven and earth in our day to day life. Heaven is within. It is a belief system that we live. Blue Electric Eagle is today’s energy and this is all about seeing the bigger picture.

Our ego mind gets stuck in a rut and only knows what it knows…..it is driven by the past and what it believes was a “good” or “bad” experience. It is driven by the emotional mind and feelings and it doesn’t “do” logic. When we become aware of this and how our ego belief system is often steering us down a very limited path that we have often revisited ~ we are at a choice point to see our pattern and do something else.

In our ego driven western society we are led by the head and are often misled. We have lots of mind linked institutions that are coming from an ego viewpoint and this is a patriarchal masculine pattern. Take Science for example. When we understand how the Science community works we can see that it is very much a pattern of control and selective seeing. It is driven by funding and is often tainted by that funding. Much of the research that is heart led and for our conscious evolution never sees the light of day because the companies that provide the funds are interested in profit and in the world of health that is in people being unhealthy 🙂 Many amazing inventions are hidden, bought out etc as they do not fit the money model. That is changing now as part of our turnaround towards  more feminine patterns.

As we move into the Aquarian Age , we are becoming more individuated and self-reliant and asking more questions. Anyone who has been around for a few years and has a free spirit, questions what our society is “sold” and many people are now becoming more switched on as to what is the motivation behind our Governments and institutions that are ego pattern led.

Most of the big money making industries are invested in war and so to thrive ~ wars have to be created ~ there has to be a threat ~ and so this is created. This also reflects our collective consciousness as we haven’t healed our childhood experiences and past history ~ until that happens they continue to exist because they are what we believe to be true and create learning for us.

When we bring this down to a simple pattern without any political storytelling we see a pattern.

When we look at our bigger picture of history we see that ego fear pattern playing out over and over with different countries.

This was highlighted last week with a programme by Horizon on BBC2 where scientists are using data to see patterns for crime prevention in the USA ~ The Age of Big Data

In the same way we repeat our patterns and they can only repeat if we have the energetic beliefs to support their existence.

Since learning about energy therapies in 2007, I have started to question a huge number of my beliefs and what I have been educated about through the media, my school education and my peer groups general understanding. It felt very unsettling to begin with as my ego didn’t like me messing around with it’s deeply rooted belief system. When I read things that were a quantum leap away from my understanding I literally felt sick ~ it was a step too far. I have learned to take little steps now wherever possible ~ sometimes we get pushed over the edge by universal events 🙂

It is key to our personal evolution that we remain open to new learning because our world is changing so fast….. so creating flexibility patterns that allow this is essential if we choose to move forward. We are in the emotional and electrical evolution.

At this time of year we are in a very masculine focused energy ~ Aries and as I am writing this we are in Aries moon with a new moon coming on Wednesday.

The more we learn about the heavens in terms of what the Sun sign is and what energy it brings, the Moon sign and whether it is waxing or waning and what the planets are doing …….the more we can tune in and if we know about our astrological chart we can see how that affects our individual energy circuitry. We can work with more awareness. In this waning moon time it is a great opportunity to let go.

If we have lots of clutter then that is a pattern of holding on. If we have lots of chaos in our lives then there is an imbalance in the opposite polarity which is order. There is no “good” or “bad” about this ~ it is what it is . If we have a lack of order then we will struggle to create flow. At this time of year we are in Spring which in the Chinese wheel of five elements is Wood. The opposite polarity of this is Autumn and in this system is Metal.

To allow more flow now we can see where we can create space within and therefore space without ~ what are we holding on to? What have we been experiencing since Autumn and the Scorpio gateway in October, that is seeking release in us so we can truly experience new beginnings?

I have a new blog that has just started: Seed of Sacred Living

I am going to be sharing my journey into new ways of living in terms of food and growing that food. I have been a gardener since I was knee high to my Grandad and pottered around his garden listening to his love of nature. He had lots of AA books ( Automobile Association) and Readers Digest  and shared his journey in learning about all the wildlife that came into his urban garden. He had a pond and a greenhouse and I remember sitting on his back door step watching the hedgehog family visiting to snack on food he put out for them. Lovely memories .

I have recently acquired some books on the vibration of food with a high science quota of information so I can understand more about food in this way. I have known for a long time, that most food we have been educated to believe is healthy in the UK has simply been a marketing plan with no basis in truth.

As I am currently working with addictions using energy therapies and have lots of food addictions ~ sugar, chocolate and old ways of eating, it is fascinating to learn about the mood changes that come with lots of different foods such as meat ~ very addictive and stimulating with the same pattern as nicotine and caffeine. Also eating anything that is from an animal and therefore anything the animal has taken into it’s energetic being is passed to us. Although this may now be common knowledge after the huge fears that came with Mad Cow Disease and salmonella in eggs on a broad basis, we soon forget the bigger picture ~ what manure are we using on our veggies ? What vibe are our veggies growing in? Reading a book about the electrical in all living beings and how we create different electrical polarities to regenerate is fascinating stuff. Will be sharing more of this as I learn how to integrate it in my day to day experience. All living beings respond to the love vibration and when we merge with that being through consuming it ~ what vibe do we choose? Many products marketed as being healthy ,vibrant …..is that true? If the person involved in the growing and packing process is there reluctantly and feeling miserable about it, undervalued etc……how does that transfer to the goods? Everything is connected 🙂

I have often felt a dissonance from people I know who are vegetarian/vegan/have knowledge of energy therapies and ancient practices such as tai chi ~ because……

they aren’t a vibrant picture of health and don’t walk their talk. Many people I know have gone down this avenue from a fear based intention and I understand this.

What I have learned is ~ back to the bigger picture~ it’s the whole deal that works.

If we have a belief system that is largely fear based then we cannot receive from the universe. Imagine our cell receptors that are limiting our experience because of times in the past when we have been hurt and so our feminine in circuit is being filtered.

It doesn’t matter how much juice we drink or how much yoga we do ~ we have beliefs that block our circle being completed. Let’s say we have had a bullying experience as a child and it was around girls ~ if we haven’t cleared that emotionally our ego is still of the belief that girls are unsafe and the universe has to bring us that reality. If we look closely at our life experience we will see we are still living that in some way in our relationships today.

The older we are the bigger that pattern ~ it becomes a black hole that has energetically increased with each matching experience. This results in an imbalance and in ph terms this is acidic. 

When we have too much acid, the metaphor ~ eats away at us ~ is inflammatory ~ is blistering ~ and if left unchecked will create dis~ease. It is impossible for someone who has this pattern to create wellbeing on a long lasting basis because being peaceful and harmonious isn’t a match for their underlying vibration.

Eating high vibe foods and being out in nature will help counterbalance this ~ the key is to let go of the acidity emotionally. Letting go of the vitriol changes the vibe of the organs in the body. At the moment it is a great time to cleanse the liver and gallbladder. The liver is where anger is processed and the gallbladder ~ bitterness and bile. Again a prime example of this is the gall~bladder being unable to process fatty foods and dairy ~ it is not an energetic match if we are holding bitter vibes. Coconut is a great way to heal and allow nurturing ~ matches breast milk in many ways. Tapping on our bitterness and bile creates a shift on the inside.

One of my key dis~ease areas that I have written about before ~ my teeth. Since my teenage years I have had teeth removed to make space, braces that damaged enamel and a series of enamel veneers, crowns , metal removed and currently plastic crowns allowing a shift in my central governing channel.

Much of our modern health systems in the West have no awareness of ancient wisdom which has been available for thousands of years in the East ~ as it would be   🙂 East awakening ~ West transformation through death 🙂

Trying to explain to a dentist about this often falls on deaf ears and this is key to my own journey about why I am experiencing this with my teeth. The key areas for issues is connected to the bladder meridian which is being “pissed off” 🙂

This is also the area of the throat chakra and ingoing of the breath ~ where I receive from the world and my feminine intake. It is also linked to my nose and what gets up it 🙂 and my knowingness 🙂 My Lilith in Aquarius.

I really have an issue with close mindedness and a lack of respect and gentleness in relationships. It is a major issue I have at the moment where I am experiencing that in my life and….

it’s an opportunity to heal it. This is the journey we are all on and how our universe pattern of opposites creates 🙂

What I find difficult to swallow is arrogance of ego led individuals who believe if it cannot be measured or proven using their ways of doing that……it doesn’t exist.

The pattern of limitation and immaturity.

My first injury to this part of my face was as a child on someone else’s bike ( that I “should’t ” have been on. It was too small and I didn’t know how to work the brakes) I was going down a hill on my street and my mum was coming round the corner in a car. I put the front brake on, skidded down the road…..on my face. I went to hospital and had stitches and although I have done lots of tapping on this there are more threads to be healed and more learning…..Lots of experiential revisiting too.

Many people I have encountered in health industries and many people I have had as client’s with trauma from receiving care from individuals in this sector, have emotional trauma because the individuals had no empathy for them. They felt brutalised not just by their physical trauma but by the lack of kindness and compassion  that was there for them.

When I work with EFT with this we go back to that event and we release the emotion that has been frozen in time. Then when that space has been energetically desensitized and decluttered a bigger picture view can often be seen because the hurt is no longer there distorting the picture. It is important that the first part takes place before moving onto the second part of the process……… which is seeing why that may have been happening for the other party ~ the ego loves to go to this place straight away to avoid feeling the pain however when that happens the avoidance pattern means no healing and that frozen space remains 🙂

When it is truly cleared we are in a different energetic space ~ this is the process of forgiveness .

We can then see that often people in medical service have developed strategies to allow them to work with people in pain all day ~ which often means they have never  been a touchy feely person because early in life they had experiences that prevented that ~ or they learned to layer armour in their training and probably both as it was simply their energetic pattern expanding. To do their work they have to work with the clock ~ look at the none sense of junior doctor’s in A and E ~ yet we spend millions on uniforms 🙂 madness……

The more we look with our eyes open the more we see the madness all around 🙂 How many people do you know who want a war machine? Although we speak out and march and protest……it still goes on. It is time to see how to really create a change in our world in a different way ~ from within ~ by looking at our patterns and changing them.

When we have no need anymore for parental control……it will cease to exist ~ may take a few generations yet……

The key for our evolution now is to explore balanced ways of having relationships with others that aren’t motivated by fear.

If we aren’t living a balanced life ~ and for most of us that is impossible if we are plugged into western ways of living and working ~ we start to take steps towards that holistically.

Exploring new ways of being is key and often that means revisiting old ways paradoxically.

Back to the metal element . Today I am researching colloidal silver to use for treating my gums. This is today’s picture. I am also using ph balanced water to drink and salt based toothpaste. The toothpaste also contains essential oils ~ myrrh is a key one for healing this pattern.

Teeth and gums are about decisions made and how we bite into life. If we are having root canal issues ~ deep root undermining.

How often have we trusted “professionals” and experienced emotional and physical wounding? No blame intended ~ simply being discerning. As an individual they see life according to their learning……and that often isn’t a match for ours on a well-being basis ~ it is always a match for us vibrationally and….an opportunity to raise our vibe 🙂

It is time to become a professional on ourselves. Anything is possible now as all knowledge is available via the world wide web and the more we learn to use our intuition and balance our masculine and feminine, the more we live in harmony and create heaven on earth.

Please feel free to feedback on your experiences on the blog. I am very interested to hear about anyone’s experience with colloidal silver.

 

Red Moon Day

eca6e07c4d31d87de2ee77b7ede72274We are on day 10 of the Yellow Sun Wavespell and the planetary energy is very strong on Red Planetary Moon Day

Connecting to various people by subscribing to blogs and newsletters really assists in my awareness and makes sense of the bigger picture for me.

I cannot be an expert in everything no matter how much my ego would like to be 🙂

In this journey of being independent and responsible in order to co create rather than co depend , there are many paradoxes at work.

Creating a power team of support really assists at this time 

We can do this with people, food, information and well being grounded frameworks.

Boji Stones , Benzoin and salt baths help keep us grounded as we go through these energy gateways

Putting our bare feet on the ground

We allow ourselves to be held and trust that all is well with each step that we take.

If we struggle with that ~ we can tap on that 🙂

Trusting the process and getting out of our own way……..

Today has been a rollercoaster ride for me and I have experienced great highs and lows over the past few days of holidays and celebrations.

Part of me really wants to do that in a manner that is familiar ~ like a pair of old slippers 🙂

When I take part in that way I forget that much of me has moved on and cannot do that because it is not an energetic match 🙂

I cannot visit places I used to

I cannot eat food I once enjoyed

I cannot be around certain behaviours or people right now

that may change at some point…..

as I go through the spiral repeatedly and out the other side

We are all in a different light space now and our planet earth is on the moon journey of remembrance.

At this Aries time we are able to create new beginnings if we allow that to happen

and set sail into unchartered waters ~

unchartered by our ego selves that is 🙂

It has been a harsh sky today with the moon and Pluto conjunct in Capricorn……

hardball being played by these  masculine , controlling energies.

If you have these planets in your chart or someone in your circle does……

you may have had a tough time

The good news is ~ if we go within and let go of any resistance we get to reshape our patterns

and let go of groundhog days.

I have been on the receiving end of these energies today and it has tagged so many past patterns for me

it has brought up a huge amount of emotion and so I have been tapping on that .

Lots of times in my life I have been blown away by the depth of people’s anger

and how that has been turned on me and I have been held as the sum total and focus of it all.

I couldn’t comprehend how someone who supposedly loved me could behave in that way.

I have also had that behaviour with others as my rage reached black hole proportions…..

I can honestly say that in most regards I haven’t physically bullied people since I was a young child

although I know I have used aggressive behaviour and I am owning that today

As we change positions we get to see the impact of that energy ~ to give and to receive

In the past this has devastated my world

Today I have a new approach

First of all to let those feelings out and grieve for how that part of me feels

I tap as I let the feelings out in my own space

preferably without  ping ponging my pain back to the person who is involved

so I go away to a space and be with that emotion and let it out

Cleansing the wound as deep as I can

as is possible in that moment of my cog on my karma wheel

Letting go of needing to do anything but that

that is what is being sought…..

When I have cleared that I can speak of the behaviour and how I choose to relate with that person from this moment.

There is no rush to do that.

I have learned over these past few days that when I learn to communicate more openly, honestly and clear any blocks to do that…..

It does take time…..

more time that often the ego wants…..

it wants instant results

and often doesn’t want to wait until the cog wheel turns to align

It wants to push the envelope

When we didn’t feel nurtured and loved we adapted….

our ego evolved and created behaviours and beliefs that temporarily allowed it to deflect pain

we created a behaviour that allowed us to feel empowered, to feel good, to feel we didn’t need anyone

an avoidance mechanism

an addiction

Now……

We are ready to manifest something else…..

The Heart Patterns are created differently from the ego

It is always challenging to be real

in the face of an overwhelming societal pattern that isn’t :-)……

We live in a time where speaking authentically gets an uncomfortable response…..

So

We simply get comfortable with the uncomfortable 🙂

Great reads I am experiencing

Cellular Awakening by Barbara Wren

Moontime by Johanna Paungger and Thomas Poppe

Two books with ancient wisdom that is our ancestry and it’s time is here and now

It is initiation time ~ time to burn off our fear by facing it

We have come through the dark ages and are heading for more light

We create new light circles

We head into new worlds

we pioneer new frontiers

Often this is painful

It gets easier

We recover quicker

We are re-calibrating our vehicle

Be brave

and go for the jugular ……

Your own vein

our blood

Feel the pain

Feel it all

Go as deep as you can

Do the opposite of ego directions

delve

liquefy

go to the oily deep stuff

that putrefies

and purge

from within

from this space

our wings are born

ready for us to fly high

We are in the last two days of the Mayan Solar Moon

We go into Red Planetary Moon on the 4th of April for a month where we see what our energy has shaped for us

Keep those Capricorn hooves firmly on the ground, nose to the grindstone, one step at a time

and intend to open your heart by going forward now

Love to you today Moon seeds

Dare to Dream