Blue Crystal Night~mare or dream?


Blue Crystal Night


Day 12 of

Yellow Human Wavespell



Please click on the links to take you to new places ~ other websites that expand on this 

Today we are in the land of dreams and nightmares. 

This energy is all about transformation ~ as it is a blue sign.

Blue Night Tribe

Today we are in waxing Cancer Moon

Today we are connecting to the Masculine in Aquarius and the new age that we are birthing in our masculine sun energy.

Cancer Moon is the sacred feminine of home, mothering and nurturing.



If you have a birthday today then this is your energy for the year that you are working with.

This means you are in year 12

of a thirteen year cycle. 

Complex stability

This year gives an opportunity to become crystal clear about this energy within you and how you choose to transform anything that gives rise to nightmares in your sleeping state ~ 

metaphors that reveal through feelings in dreams 

past issues seeking enlightenment by bringing them up to consciousness

stirring the soup and letting our deeper selves 

rise to the surface

so we can transform them and create energy and awareness 

to set us free from our past


go through the door and back to the garden 🙂



Are you ready to create a core within yourself

that creates stability ?



That is the only way you can create a stability of feeling about our ever changing world ~

at this particular time it is so changeable and it is happening quickly.

To survive the key way of being is flexibility ~ to be able to move with the white water rapids that are happening now

To be open to new learning and how to create change ~ each one of us knowing that ourselves and taking responsibility for it

letting go of any unhealthy dependencies as we shape our destiny with our own hands 

The first place to do this is within


Picture Alex Gray




I am sharing this with the intention of  illustrating where I am coming from in these posts and what has brought me to today.

Some of my journey in life so far has been very enjoyable and some has been very painful.

I have learnt from both areas

and most of my transition has come from the

not so enjoyable parts.

In our society this part is only just coming to

light now ~ at the perfect time.

We learn through our painful times of struggle and strife and that is the polarity framework on planet earth

When we accept that is how it is

and go with it

we see the silver lining

when we have done it enough

we reach a tipping pint and we transcend it

Most people still work purely with expanding their positive ~

why not this is so comfortable for the ego ?


we have very positive reinforcement for this in society 

There are a lot of positives about the ego and most people only understand what it is with a very limited reference point because

they haven’t done any in depth work

on themselves

this is the true meaning of karma and Code

When we start to do it

we are learning experientially through the process

this has a ripple effect

this is the law of attraction in action


Once we start to

be the code in everything we do

we access more and more of anything that is coded in that way


It really is simple when we look at it this way isn’t it ?

Eyes the window of the soul

I am speaking about this with the intention of  communicating awareness


each individual will read it

and give meaning to it

based on their belief systems

Many people have an intellectual understanding  of a concept and bandy it about in relationship with others 

however they have no understanding of how people actually learn  or have any experiential awareness of this and so it is simply skimming the surface

For example most people do not understand

that one of our key ways of learning is we


This link above explains this in detail

Albert Bandura’s development model 

In our families we model our role model’s which is one of the key reasons why we repeat familiar patterns even though some of these are abusive and seemingly very illogical 

Why model a behaviour that has hurt us such as sexual abuse, physical abuse or alcoholism ?

We do what we know that is why and we also make choices to learn or stay the same

Remember the saying

Do what I say not what I do

Did your parent’s ever say that to you ?

Did it work ?

Chances are you copied their behaviour in many respects and if you personally didn’t you will attract someone into your life that did ?

Can you spot them?

This is why when baby animals are brought into captivity from the wild  ~ such as Rhinos they are put with other grazing animals so they can model them and learn how to be a grazing animal. This can be a sheep for the purpose of modelling grazing, in the absence of a Rhino adult, according to a documentary I watched.

If someone has never experienced receiving respect they do not know how to do the behaviour respect and unless they are taught it and give and receive it

they cannot be it

To go a level deeper 

If a person has had events where they were

disrespected in their life 

until they heal that and how they felt 

and are still feeling on a deep level of consciousness

then pattern matches of these events will keep showing up because

that is their holographic signature

and they show up so healing and new learning can begin


Now the ego doesn’t like this because it cannot control it

Often a person creates ego strategies to try and control it and these develop in childhood and become more complex over time

behavioural for example ~ be passive, be aggressive, get a lot of wealth to avoid it, be clever, start a religious war etc

Every person on planet earth has an ego

that is our shared humanity

and each ego is either in it’s raw state and acting without consciousness

or in process of raising consciousness through self awareness….

because that individual has no awareness of ego and how it works

or has awareness of that intellectually but hasn’t done anything energetically or emotionally to transform their personal

emotional triggers

My video here

and there is nothing “wrong” with any of those places of being

It is what makes the world go round

it is what it is

It is our emotional evolution

Education is very important for raising



at the moment most education of young people on planet earth is focusing on the world around them with the intention of  “gainful employment”

There is very little education about the child themselves and how they become self aware

even about practical matters such as how to cope with life generally

that is of no interest to the ego model of consumerism ~ self awareness is not wanted because self aware people do not comply with it

If a child doesn’t want to learn from this model then they are seen as a problem and attempts made to make them comply and in the UK this hasn’t changed in 40 years ~ I have experiential knowledge of that as I have worked with young people and these systems and learned a lot from them

The people who are teachers often do not have any self awareness either so….

this  creates a pattern 

Generally many inspiring teachers who are coming from an integrated and knowing place 

leave the system because it is not the same code

It is impossible for them to be there 

Most of the codes in today’s schools are about compliance and becoming a product of the consumer machine

Judgement is a part of that

Being judged and labelled and whipped into shape 

Discernment is another code entirely and if people are stuck in the code of Judgement then they often haven’t accessed discernment with intellectually or experientially 🙂

If someone has been on the receiving end of judging….


there is code there about that

To Judge someone subjectively means to label them into one of two areas of polarity



to place a meaning about someone’s behaviour

and if you have escaped that learning you are a rare being indeed

because this is endemic and systemic in our world today

and a very 

favoured sorting tool of the ego so it knows what is good and bad for it

It is a very immature and basic sorting mechanism that keeps the ego feeling it is acting in safe mode and living in a righteous way 

which is very subjective to that individual’s experience of what they believe is “right” and “wrong” according to  their modelling

often this is simply taking on their family, friends and society’s beliefs without any questioning or deeper processing ~ no conscious exploration and blind acceptance

It also has a pathological code as well ~ to strip someone of their ability to be self reliant and stand up to bullying and is often used in that way to undermine an individual that isn’t being compliant and to create genocide as seemingly a righteous solution to people who have sufficient fear 

no reasoning

no common sense

no love

no compassion

no sense of true self happening only ego borrowing from other people to create itself

When this is a way of being ~ someone’s complex structure

the sense of self comes from outside and is validated by the outside

world in an eye

Everything in undeveloped and untrained ego structure is affected by the outside world

and often the

person feels

at everything and everyone’s mercy

and this is therefore their reality

Life happens to them

they are in a victim code of feeling disempowered

because that is the truth of their internal structure

When our ego  ~ our human being ness ~ is externally referenced then

everything external is seen as the source of all joy and pain

When the truth is

we can change this when we train and transform our ego 

focus on what is feeling painful

our triggers

and instead of wanting to annihilate them , control them, blame them

we focus on our inner source and restructure it

Our feelings then become our guide to our dream

instead of suppressing them and repressing them 

using escape and coping mechanisms such as alcohol, drugs, workshops, sex, nicotine, sugar, workouts

we go to our core and find out what messages our feelings want to share

about our life journey so far and what we have come here for

our soul journey

all of this is connected and is the ancient process


When we reach middle age to use a computer analogy

our hard drive becomes full

and initiates

mid life crisis

just like on planet earth

we are full of all these old patterns of  the opposite of right relationship

our planetary cup is full

especially in Somerset where I live ~ there are floods everywhere

the boundaries have become eroded


Each one of us can empty our cache now and in our own cleansing

cleanse the world

Certain energetic codes really resist showing

emotion and working with it

These are revealed in the Zodiac 

People who have had big emotional traumas and choose to stuff down their emotions

put a brace face on it

and stay strong

are using a coping mechanism of the ego that does not create healing

It is the antithesis of healing

the anti christ if you will in terms of christ consciousness

and by christ consciousness I mean a way of relating that is coming from

ego transformation that is love and understanding in truth


 having transformed all our wounding  events

so that we have a natural place of love and compassion

yellow human

Picture Alex Gray 

When new learning comes along that doesn’t fit our ego’s map of the world ~

it’s understanding and belief system

we often get a map clash

and if that ego isn’t willing to be open to new ideas it will use it’s favourite coping mechanism which is


here is a great video about 911 to illustrate this point

It is with reference to that event and explains the meaning of denial generally

Our ego is the soul seed of our evolution

and is a powerhouse of potential

When you have been on the receiving end of narcissistic rage you feel the force


unfortunately when this place of darkness and

code of not feeling

or not expressing feelings of the shadow

is reached

there is little hope of it happening because

a narcissist will not look at their own ego experiences of hurt

and rarely seeks any help because they do not believe there is anything unhealthy about them

often these experiences are found in childhood

and are never resolved because of the belief that everyone else has the problem

and the only way to transmute all this pain is to scapegoat someone else

and turn them into the focus

they are the bad ones

This code of blame is part of the victim pattern

and is part of the  human spectrum of emotional evolution

In families we have people who play different roles and wear masks to form a holographic picture

Instead of each person being whole and integrated with their own well rounded healthy ego and persona

It isn’t anyone’s fault

It is how our western society has evolved so that we can evolve

The first step is to recognise that

and that is difficult for many people trapped in victimhood

because to do that takes courage

and taking responsibility for our own feelings 

that we choose how we feel every time

we choose how we behave every time

Emotional Intelligence is a key part of this way of being



In a family that has alcoholism for example.

There will be a learned behaviour about alcohol

and as I was growing up 

most people didn’t even recognise it is a drug

Because it is legal ~ and cannabis isn’t

a generalisation can be made that because alcohol is legal it is ok, it is safe

That again is coming from immature ego

alcohol is legal because of many reasons and nothing to do with it being safe 

Lots of agendas around alcohol

and how we choose to relate to it is 

our choice

As a young person, me and most of my peers learned that to have recreation time meant getting drunk 

getting legless in fact

Lots of media at that time showed people relaxing with alcohol and cigarettes

When you had a “bad” day at the office ~ get drunk

Drink at lunchtime

Party at weekend

What has changed on mainstream media today ?

It was socially acceptable

My guess is that today in the UK

there is a very high percentage of the

population who use the coping mechanism of

alcohol to get through their day to day

to” relax “

and that they cannot do without it and yet do not see themselves as “addicted”

and most people cannot have one drink and stop

or one cigarette and stop

or heroin now and again

or a soap opera once a month

or one crisp

one piece of chocolate

This is wired in to our amygdala as a way to feel good

We all have our own coping mechanisms that we have become addicted to

and most people do not see that

some addictions have more harmful side effects than others

they help us to cope with relationships

that are not honest,


or truly loving

and as that is the basis of our society

living from untrained ego

out of balance

living an artificial life

and having to be dishonest in every way

as a result


In virtually every family there is someone high on the narcissist spectrum ~

doesn’t want to feel to heal 

To counteract this there is an enabler

The scapegoat who can be blamed and held responsible for the source of the narcissist’s pain and enables them to stay unconscious

There is often a whole family tree history on this

If you have interacted with someone who has a lot of anger and is high on the spectrum of narcissism 

and you have done something to highlight their true lack of control 

pull the rug on this dishonest way of living

they will seek to destroy you

If you have been or are in this situation this is a great source of information about it

Be mindful of how you connect and perhaps minimising your exposure to small chunks

Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

When this first starts it may be physical bullying 

this happened to me at school when I stood up to someone bullying someone else

this created a whole pattern over my lifetime

in all areas of my life especially the corporate world

Following the cosmic cookie trail of co dependency and bullying

and I have been tapping on this today again ~ I use emotional freedom technique because it works for me

Since becoming a therapist I have encountered many narcissists as clients or clients family as that is my attraction

One of my first client’s in fact led me to discover what the term was because I knew that something dishonest was going on in our sessions and I couldn’t put my finger on it so I went on a whole journey of research

this is the gift of learning this energy can bring

at first I found it very challenging and it triggered lots of fear responses in me and revealed confidence issues and lack of self~ belief

I was in a relationship in my 20’s with a narcissist and I became very ill on a physical and mental level

When I was drunk the part of me I repressed when sober came out and I spoke the truth

and  paid the price on all levels

Instead of learning how to create healthy relationships I simply looked for addictive fixes

alcohol and drugs to escape and relax

let go of being shy

sex to feel valuable, worthy and loved 

When I was “sober” and single I felt the truth of what I did when I became this suppressed persona

and I was always suppressing and trying to be “perfect” 

be a people pleaser

to please

be what the narcissist wanted me to be

and of course this narcissist energy was also in me

How I really felt came out at the office parties to my boss

who was behaving inappropriately as my boss ~ his true self emerging

when my bullying boyfriend fought with his friend

when my friends were absent emotionally and I could be honest about how I felt

It wasn’t nice of course

you know the story because you have one too 🙂

When we are repressing our true nature somewhere it has to come out somewhere else to balance itself

this is the bi-polar pattern

swings and roundabouts

This scenario keeps playing out throughout our life until we decide to do something about it.


Take away the rose tinted glasses

the vino

the trip to la la land

and look at how we are creating our reality from all these parts

how our family parts are pulling at our heart strings

and breaking away from these roles

Taking off the mask



The Narcissist is a great teacher because through our interaction we can really see our complex stability in action


When someone is acting without consciousness because they have been triggered we may be on the receiving end of the sum total of their rage ~

years of events of uncleared emotion that is in full throttle and the sum total all channeled

at you

the trigger

There is no way to bring consciousness as they are not conscious

Nothing you can do or say can unlock their spell 

You can say it anyway if you choose and it may add fuel to the fire

It is like being a child again with an angry adult who has all the answers of unreason

and all the power 

and yes I have been there with my children in this role


whatever we say to an unconscious rager

 they will only see their meaning

It can feel very disempowering and upsetting

when someone wants to hold you responsible and destroy you

for something you didn’t do

and give you their guilt trip instead of feeling it and dealing with it

and the more we do our journey and work on our self~belief and self ~ esteem 

and all our bullying and narc encounters

the more we can be present


let go of our fear

and let go of taking on this other person’s attempt to create the Scapegoat in us

because we no longer hold the code for that

When I am in the presence of this relationship most of the coping mechanisms I have created 

cannot be used 

intelligence, reasoning and honesty 

no dice

this person wants to hurt me because I have removed a veil

a curtain has been drawn back

without their consent

light coming in

At the moment I do not feel compassion for them ~ that may change over time

with more layers in my journey

At the moment I know that their way of being is not love

and so I do not match it with love

I know this pattern in history has created terrible things and is doing so now

“it’s just business”


I want no part of it

No matter how many times I have to face the narcissist

I will

and I will not give way to them

and their distortion

born from living a lie

It is what we are here to create

right relations

and learn how to create our dream from the inside out

letting go of our nightmares by following

simple moral codes

that aren’t rocket science

and yet build amazing light structures

from the stars

of the heart


If you would like to experience how EFT works for you

Please get in touch

I offer a free consultation

You can work on what you wish to create 

and let go of your past creations 

and this creates a different code

You create the code

You have the answers 

You are the dreamer in the dream

Everything that has ever happened to you can be a part of that way of being

Taking our power back involves taking responsibility 

for our choices in life

That was then

This is now

What are we choosing

Now ?

Jo in Glastonbury

Love to your emotional evolution 

and ours




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.