White Solar Wind

White Wizard Wavespell cycle completes on day 9

still four days to built on this completion though and what will this bring  for our self empowerment and white water rafting ? 

Please click on the links to go to more info

It is the last day of Scorpio and Sagittarius ushers in tomorrow and wow I am seeking some breathing space to rest and recuperate as

the magic is flowing through me in torrents

yet I am guessing this may not be the case 😉

So many endings I don’t know where to begin 🙂

Scorpio as the eight month has brought integration 

which often comes through dissonance

which was my Mayan Oracle card for today

But…..

Begin …….

anew 

is clearly my cue

My past life South Node was in Sagittarius as my present soul trip is in Gemini

where did I leave off to begin this pattern with my Sagi starter for 10 ?

One of my key areas of learning is relationships

“right” relationships

How to create equal, healthy, balanced relationships with primarily myself

and

my higher self.

I am asking for assistance with my next steps 

right now 🙂

I am again learning more about the Narcissist pattern

through experience of course

this is always a favourite Scorpio gateway topic of mine

and

how it has been the foundation stone of our harsh world reality

in our past generations

because it was designed by the ego on the inside, to allow people to survive huge emotional events

that they couldn’t deal with

there is a price to pay for that of course

and everyone pays it whether they want to….

or not…..

this is what we are seeing manifest on the outside

all the fragmented child behaviours, thoughts and beliefs

that create disharmony

and 

ways of relating that are malign 

as in

mal align 

not a happy life affirming match pattern

Thank you to a lovely Leo for sharing this with me 🙂

Our consumer pattern on the world stage

expanded this creative ploy after seeing how much money can be made at a time of deep scarcity and struggle….

such as depressions and times of huge resistance ~ war

It is a great way to sate the ego

worldwide

so it doesn’t feel any pain.

This is the useful purpose of addictions

to numb our hurting

but using them only serves to make the wound go deeper

so next time a bigger fix is required.

Time to wean ourselves off this now so we can feel good without any crutches

and intention is 

everything.

Murder or manslaughter ?

The intention decides whether the outcome of death is contrived or by accident

yet there is still a culpability 

in both cases.

Honesty can be helpful here so that each party can learn new ways to relate

and yet

presently is rarely seen

being as rare as rocking horse 

remnants 🙂

My personal story is minuscule compared to headline stories at the moment

however it is still revealing my inner strength

and weakness.

As I go around for the umpteenth lap on this pattern and my son asks me often why don’t I learn?

Why do I have to do it again ? 

It affects him too  and part of me takes issue with myself about this.

All I can answer is…..

there is more learning to do for me personally

and new people involved

and always a new angle

and

one of the key things is

I learn about how the cycles work through my own experience 

and now that is so clear using astrology and the Mayan Wavespell.

To be a Seer one has to see through cycling the cosmic cookie trail 🙂

Taking the path less travelled involves this uncomfortable rocky road

only uncomfortable sometimes at the

dark moments where the next step isn’t clear….

most of the other discomfort is my ego in fear mode

and the more I go through these gateways and 

enjoy the magic that comes as a result

and the easier it gets to 

be pushed through the wormhole into a new chapter.

I don’t expect anyone to nanny me or be financially responsible for me

I do want to be independent and live authentically ……

the question is in today’s western world…..

How is that possible?

To create shelter and a good standard of harmonious , healthy living

without prostituting oneself in some way?

Answers on a postcard please 🙂

I am so open to your inspiring ideas at this time.

I have resources and sometimes they are capped by my 

knowing what I know

and you know

something else 🙂

Because you have lived a life different to mine.

I am once more at Hecate’s Crossroads ready to take 

another road less travelled

and 

keep the faith 

in my soul journey.

I am in conflict with my selves this past couple of days in waning Gemini moon

and as we slipped into Cancer today

I am feeling my mothering adrift.

My ego conditioning is still looking to be that good girl who has created a blissful life of brownie points

a legacy for my offspring that will stand testament to their future

and my soul self says

what utter tripe and nonsense 🙂

My Sacred feminine archetype of Taurus energy stands firm and grounded

and reminds me that there is still more brainwashing 

to be sluiced out

this consumer cultishness still has some strong tendrils that run deep is all.

The Narcissist thread was heavily robed in The Great Gatsby.

This is the Sagittarius challenge 

discipline and balance with the expansion

the upward ever growing, expanding line on the stock exchange of ego

that forever ascends

no roller coaster circles here my dear

only good 

pure

worthiness

white and bright

Narcissists cannot deal with flexibility and have rigid rules

and when their rules are not obeyed

their rage is unleashed

All that unprocessed emotion comes out like molten lava

Anyone who is waiting for a miracle to occur with a narcissist 

in the way of empathy or any true feelings to be shown of love or compassion

Stop Waiting

It will never happen

because it isn’t a possibility for this person who has never learned to love

and has created an inpenetrable wall around their heart

manned by nihilistic robots 

Heal from the pain the relationship has brought and

move on

to relate with beings who are capable of living from a love space

My long term partner has faced his worse nightmare over the past week and has been totally physically incapacitated and in great pain

He normally works as a builder and yet even though he has kept people in the loop about his condition

they wouldn’t accept that reality 😦

and had no compassion for him at all

Which has led to another end of a cycle

We have worked for many people who loved us when we did everything they wanted

and the minute we said

no

the tables turned.

We have tried all sorts of strategies to avoid interacting with people in this way

and have come to a conclusion

If one can possibly avoid this type of co dependent relationship

do so

and seek

mature individuals

who have healthy honest relationships

these people are rare

I cannot live out of integrity as I get sick

so it isn’t an option any more.

In a coaching session this week I received the name Javier/Xavier

and one of the meanings is “new home”

of course anyone I am working with is another me 🙂

We have the same path in many ways

A for sale sign appeared outside my home today and this echoes times past.

I felt dread because I have just settled in and last time finding a home was quite traumatic

I feel tired at the thought of packing everything up even though we may be able to stay if the new owner chooses to keep us as tenants

and so many other times of being made to go ~ as a child I didn’t want to leave my first home and friends

I left a beautiful place in the country because of a bullying boss

I left a company that sounded wonderful and was just a slave driver

I left a dream home because of a financial crash

all of these circles felt like something my ego didn’t choose and 

they all led me here 🙂

How will I create with the circumstances this time?

I have been playing a single parent role in many ways this week, doing many things my partner does as well as my own and assisting him in some ways.

This has reflected times past too.

I have had very little time to relax and tune in because I have been “doing”

This is how the co dependent designed society keeps us going as busy little worker bees with no time or energy to think outside the box.

On a finding new tires adventure I went on a half hour journey to a new place using sat nav

my sat nav wouldn’t charge and so I had to keep stopping to see where to go by plugging it in

and I saw the metaphor of taking the small steps

go a little 

stop

check in with the signs

go ahead

My ego doesn’t bode well with this approach as it means it cannot risk assess and draw up a flawless master plan to avoid any 

scraped knees and bruised feelings

My beloved ego only wants what is “good” for me

and this isn’t what soul journeys are about.

Soul Journeys are often given the biggest boost at times of adversity.

This is the lovely Scorpio embrace that drags us into the deep spaces where 

evolution comes

My partner is in the last couple of days of his eleventh year and so big letting go time and everything for him is now at a standstill so he can create something new.

At my last major journeying point into Glastonbury I wasn’t blogging ~

this time you can share my journey with me and see what that brings

inside and out

Next wave spell begins on November 26th with Blue Hand

this is my Mayan Sign.

It brings the doorway through to another world and is the transformational 13 days of shaping to connect with the Goddess.

The blend of what is seeking birth through our great mother energy and each of us, through letting the magic flow through us

from our heart space

from love

if we can transform our ego

with humility and grace

Remember that it is the lightening and solar flares that charge mother earth

and our co creative relationships that allow us

to thrive

rather than simply survive.

Love to you all at this time of creating new cosmic waves

through leaving our caves.